First week of breeding my new born

一眨眼，和宝宝相处了一个星期了。琪说得蛮对的，做月期间是有种失落感，而那感觉很多时侯是宝宝的哭闹与不合作而产生的。还有的就是，由于自己是新手妈妈，很多对宝宝的沟通技巧和照顾，都没有旁边老人家来得周到。其实，这一点并不是最困扰的。有时困扰的是自己的观念与老人家有差异。老人家总是认为她们非常有经验，不是很接受你的看法与建议，但实际上是可行的，正确的。那时候，就会有些懊恼。很多时候都常劝自己不要跟老人家计较，而且沟通上一定要以尊重为先，这样才是一个成熟妈妈的态度。但是，有时候的不多解释并不代表我认同，真的很希望老人家有时候能够听听晚辈，不要一味的自圆其说，自己说了算，久了恐怕自己无法招架，恐怕会有磨檫。举个例子，宝宝睡到一半突然哭闹，不是肚子饿了，就是肚痛嘛！老人家竟然说是什么花公花母欺负他，听了让我无所适从。老人家接过宝宝后，又继续哭闹，然后又开始了自圆其说原来是宝宝肚子痛了，也就是我一开始说的，不是吗？ 一个礼拜的坐月子，真是度日如年。由于自己康复的比较快，一个星期，好像过了一个月似的，好慢好慢。每天重复着一样的人，事，食与物，感觉自己越来越像畜生，脑袋越来越生锈。后来，我才了解，为什么人们总是说产后的妇女会比较迟钝，都是因为这种坐月子方式，吃了睡，睡了吃，每天几乎没什么用到脑。 最近开始在想，把宝宝留在这里是否是好的选择。感觉日子久了，他还会不会认得我这个妈？就算认得，关系会好吗？越想越怕，每次想到的解决方案，都会想到一个关键人物，那就是自己的妈。但是，答案都是令人失望的，因为她肯定不愿意帮忙。虽然很不解以往那么疼爱自己的人，为何到了自己结婚后会有那么大的差异？从我生产到现在，她竟然一通电话都没打过给我，每一次都是自己打去，而且可以感受到她不愿多谈。很希望有人可以告诉我为什么会这样？？？我自认和其他兄姐相比没有做过很忤逆的事，为什么可以对我那么不在乎，我不是她女儿吗？当家婆对我比她好时，我很讨厌，因为这种待遇，不应该出自家婆，应该出自自己妈妈才对，很无奈～ 老公做工辛苦，我是不应该再烦他了。但是，无论如何，我一定要想个办法把宝宝留在自己身边。。。

Hello Gyovince!!!

It has been a week my little Gyovince was hidding inside my little belly. He has been given me a surprise contraction last weekend that had made me so panic to welcome his arrival. The contraction and the advice that the doctor had delivered to me has been given me a thought that my little Gyovince will be coming out earlier than what I've expected, that had also indirectly save my maternity leaves which I'd taken it earlier. After spending a few hours in the hospital, and now, a week at my in law's place, the times has passed proof my little Gyovince's intention is not to come out that soon as I was thinking. Thus, my patient is challenged again. As people who know me will understand that I'll sick of too long holidays with nothing to do but waiting. I waslike living a dull life everyday with my in law who I think treat me nicer than my biological mom did. At this moment, I couldn't bear to feel pity to my hubby who is now staying with her due to his work in Singapore. Since my mom doesn't adore me like what in law did to me, so she did to my hubby, maybe worst. This is the only point that is quite puzzling me during this period. Sometimes, we couldn't expect people to treat us as good as what other did. But when you did comparison among family members, especially between in laws' and your own family members, you will felt why such different occured. Anyway, put this aside, given that we have different family background and culture, I should admit such a culture shock happened in my family. Gyovince is kicking me again. Just finished sms with my little man for signing the Tenancy Agreement tomorrow. I've suggested him to bring along sister to attend that signing because the landlord is not there. But, my idea was strongly rejected, maybe he is thinking that I'm treating him like a kid? Oh man, pride and dignity shouldn't be your concerns for safetiness sake. Anyway, still, as his wife, I have to respect his decision. Well, it's Sunday tomorrow. Should think of something to do to ease my dullness and boringness...I did really crave my little one can co-operate and come out as earlier as mommy wish ... Dear Gyovince, many people are so looking forward to your arrival, instead of mild kicking and sommer-saulting in mommy's tummy, just come out and see this beautiful world and enjoy mommy and daddy's hugging and kissing, which is your world with no more darkness and narrow space..mommy love you..muach!!!

A Big Change in my Life

When I'm typing this blog, a little one in my belly is feeling my thoughts and senses to this blog. It has been just 6 months time and everything has been changed tremendously. I got married on last christmas day, taking wedding photos and engaged into a long wedding preparation last few months, busy with contacting people and wedding reception within just 2 months. To be frank, I was pleasure and glad when I first come to know a little one in my life. He/she has been growing well in my tommy and somehow making me emotionally changed tremendously. I can't concetrate my works at all, I'll feel tired very easily, bad appetite and frequent neuseous contribute to my bad temper to people around me. Especially my family, I'm very sorry to them.

The sudden change in my life cause me a lot of stress and hard feeling.And on this particular time, it's damn difficult to find someone who can help and understand you or someone who can listen to you. I'm not all right. But, it seems like no one will bother at all. I hope i can be stronger but this battle seems like the hardest one to me. How can I go through all this? Is there any way out when you're really have will to go through all this?

Being a lawyer in 3 months time

I hadn't check in to write a little about me after i was changed a new firm. I have my 3rd months of legal practice since called to the bar in April. I have done and experienced quite something along the 3 months practice. I'd experienced the excruciating treatment by the banker; I've experienced the helplessness of being a conveyancing lawyer whose professionality is always being insulted; I'd been missing my ex-colleagues and bosses that make me paying 2 trips to my ex-firm to cure my nostalgically.

I hereby express my true feeling of being the 3 months lawyer. I did quite obviously feel that I was being nurtured by the realistic and higher responsibility that making me able think and act like a lawyer naturally. I wouldnt concern so much on how people will look at me as a crab. On other hand, I'll start motivating myself to do and prepare myself, spiritually and physically like a lawyer. Speak like a lawyer and act like a lawyer.I found that why I always cannot express my words during my pupillage is because of lacking confidence, which had been struck too many times by my over concerns on people's advice.

Personal attitude is very important for me now instead of the financial outstanding.How to become a better one is not always by comparing but personal education and attitudes which shall determine what kind of lawyer of me.

YYP contacted me recently and I was quite surprise that he was able to remember my birthday and he shared his glory with me. Yes, we won the TP case in which I'd prepared 12 volumes of NOP for him. The victory seems to make everything worth it, and I believe he must be very happy.

Bear has some concerns on my happiness of sharing YYP's glory. He discovered my over happiness that have outdo my happiness to him. I was denying his analysis which deem radiculous to me, but after thinking deeper a bit, I think I was over react the happiness of glory, and I found that I enjoy glory more than the time spend with him, in certain extent, I can't deny that what Bear was thinking is quite true to me.

Glory, Family and Friendship. To strike a balance among all this is not easy.

沉淀于心中他熟悉的背影。。。

有位不相熟的学妹最近联系上了我。她说她很有兴趣想要到老杨那儿实习，还问了我许多“程度”上如何被录取的问题。我的回应是充鼓励的，因为我觉得老杨那儿无法让我发挥，并不等于学妹也跟我一样。或许她比我好一百倍吧！只怕我很可能以经拆了学校的招牌，学妹也可能因为我而进不去了。。真是该死的又想太多了。 反而， 我该回羡慕学妹吧！能呆在那儿，又能有所发挥，是最好不过的事了！希望她能做到我没办法做到的事吧!

我的名字终于被登记在律师公会的名册上了，这也表示真正的风险也即将来临。 今天就让我体会到了风险的滋味。我的书记竟然出了非常显着的差错，要不是顾客好意提醒，后果可不小。我这才深深体验到踩着钢线过日子恐惧，所以万万不能再大意了！我真不想一开始就玩完，那我的人生可说是场闹剧了！

回家路上，经过了以往熟悉的路，果然遇见了熟悉的他和老二。从他们迎面而来的方向，大概可知道他们刚到太平咖啡厅享用了杯咖啡和烤面包，看他们穿得如此白净的长袖衬衫，大概是边喝边讨论下午的诉讼审讯吧！看着他们匆忙的朝我这儿方向来，心里突然感到特别欣喜，本想要打声招呼，但当他们越走越近，看得越来越清晰时，我不晓得为什么自然而然的就把头别过去了。那种感觉，似乎从心底有感而发的。。突然来的勇气。。消失了。别过了头的我，踩着油门，只好懦弱的看着他在我的望后镜里小小的背影，往前公司走去，看着他还是像以往一样硬朗的身子，走的还是特别的快，心中就充满了喜悦，真希望他会越来越好:) 因为他永远是我的恩师，非常欣赏又尊敬的恩师

In the journey~~

Lately, I've found that all previous post of mine are dealing with job and career. Then, I start to realize as if my life is only concerning to job and career but none of friends and familoes' life, if there is, are those unhappy memory.Am I living an unhappy life always? Quite doubtful.

I was attending my first signing at Horizon Hills with 2 groups of clients, mom and Grce. Haha... I did not purposely to bring them over there to witness my performance of how I was attnding my clients. It's just to save time for shopping. I was just wondering why is it so tedious for me to first doing something which is new to me. The first client, who is an Indian was really gave me some hard-time to complete the signing process. He was asking me the loan agreement a clauce by a clause as if I'm the author of that Agreement.

In fact, he has made me wait and waste an hour in the morining, yet, he still asking so much of unneccessary questions and bragging his wealthiness by property investment. He also contented to sue people and insist on wanted me to name a few of those famous litigator who is expert in land dispute. I've no choice but to give him YYP's contact and name card. Later on, I just realize that I shouldn't because YYP might mind it. With due respect to him, I was later on acknowledge this person to him by sms. He wasn't reply me for a few hours until evening, he replied with a "thank you" and further on with another question to me: How's your new job?" Apparently, he is still concern on his pupil that making me a little comfort.

Then, I carefully reply (still, he is my ex-boss and I have duty to my new boss) my current working progress in conveyancing to him, adding on my opportunity to attend client for loan agreement that morning, and followed by another request for asking him to inform me the decision of TP which is going to come out end of May. He then replied: "Sure, have a good weekend". Do I miss him? To a certain extent, I admit, I do. And I believed, so did he. Otherwise, he would not want to know more about of the current me.

I was ended up using more than 1 hour to entertain that indian fellor. Finally, my second groups sounded on me. I admitted that I was bad in handling that situation, and I do hope they don't complaint me. After my clint's unpleasure signal, I was then faster entertain them, for sure, with their complaint to the inconsiderable first client. By that time, it was almost 2 pm, and I was hungry. I really pity to my mom and sis who have been waiting for me from morning to afternoon, at last, due to can't stand for the hunger for lunch, they've already have their lunch in the the golf club.

After all have done, we move on our shopping day. Then, to Josvin's house to visit my 2 little angels. Joanne's piano has improved tremendously, she now playing steadily without extra guidance or the background music. She start playing some funny games in her school, being a husband or wife, building up a family with her friends which is cute and adorable. MJ was as naughty and mischevious as before. Running here and there, stick with his mommy like a mommy boy... I can see that Josvin herself has grown and know to pay more respect to Mom after last unhappy incident. I hope she can really grow up, be a good mommy to her children and a filial daughter to Mom.

Sunday, I sent Grace to CS and I've tried to use my daily season parking card to have my car parked as usual. Consequently, my card was permitted even during the weekend. It was great as I can always comeover CS parking by using the card without paying such expensive parking fees. Grace got her Bonus after visted the Taro fortune teller and had bought a bracelet from them. It sounds efficacious which enticing me to have a try. Shouldn't I believe in fortune teller??? Grace bought me a set of cosmetic and in exchange of a luch from me. Ha, worth still!

This is my happy weekend with family. Nevertheless, I'm more looking forwards to a smooth traffic tomorrow to start my fruitful working days.

My initial week ...

I was late in the very first day of work. The traffic jam in JB is getting serious nowadays. Almost every 2 days a week will encounter road accident which triggered heavy jam. I ended up 30 minutes late in office.

As what I've always looked for, Mr Teh is now delegating files consisting conveyancing and litigation to me. For conveyancing, I'm so far handling those problem files which are difficult in the sense that they are considered alien to me. It was difficult yet challenging, as I should know nothing is easy unless I'm willing to put enough effort to overcome every obstacle I've faced. Given that my status has been changed to an LA who bearing responsibility not only as a professional but a staff who expected to reduce boss' burden and to assist firm to develop its business. Therefore, despite of my inexperience in the area of conveyancing, I shouldn't expect to be spoon feeded by others. I should now pick up this area soonest as possible then only can monitor those files efficiently.

Apart from the conveyancing, I was also entrusted with litigation files. The latest files required me to draft statement of claim and summary judgment which are the basic in litigation practice. Others files include drafting Notice and letters to various parties. Well, these are the job areas that I was previously looking for, which are not available in YTHT. I'm glad and rejuvenated by current working condition and working opportunities given. Yet, due to practical experiences throughout the chambering period that I've not sufficiently gain, I did worry for my incapability to handle those liti files which are supposed not a problem to me. I did bother my unfamiliarity to certain basic that let Mr Teh down and that will affect his impression on me. I hope I won't let this thing happened to me.

All in all, I'm just hoping that I'm able to survive and subsisting in right track to strive my goal in future.