WHATS WRONG TO ME??

Recently...i felt i have changed a lot..I'm hardly to accept what ppl say and i'm almost not happy with everything as what i can thing of my mind. I even can feel unhappy to a person who is justtalking v me something without any bad intention..How does this feeling raise in my heart?? I cant explain..n is curious oso..

Sometimes..i use to be defensive to everything...without any reason..however..i hate this kind of characteristic of mine...it just like an onset disease which come summarily without of my control over it..thus..i always found that i'm being in the siuation of paradox where i found no answer to my radiculous emotion..ppl asking me why..i dunno how to say..it seems like i hv lost my linguistic intelligent..what i know was..i felt insecure in most of the time...lost of confident..lost of trust to anyone around me..forgetfullness until i hate myself so much..

I cant explain why i seems like lost my direction to do sth worth and become slower n slower when doing a simple task after move to a new environment..i felt i hv chosed many wrong decision that lead to my character nowadays..like..i choose to not join su as a group of assignment..like..i choose to follow herin doing sth where none of understanding being returned..while i choose to lost a person who willing to understand me..how stupid am i??n how long i can carry on for my stupidness??just trying to rescue the consequence of my wrong decision...can i do that??Hope so..

After move in here..only know there were the ppl who really need somebody feed like a child when settling some general n personal things..thier requirement to parents is really out of my expectation..fortunately my dear was not a members of them..just pity for thier parents..working so hard until forget to teach thier children bout the way to pay money even they hv provide money for them..thier action had indirectly reflect the failure of thier parents..so never help ur children in everything until they may not know to use the spoon to eat one day..

My temper is greatly bad today..due to many factors today.. eg: unconsidered's frn, unable to interview, quarrel v bear again for minor thing but even it is my fault..i still think that he never learn to respect his gf by shouting n some idiot words tht he can say out..time changing as ppl will really change..those scene tht will never be seen when we just together had embodied day after a day..so what? any solution??or saying breakup?? none of this i can think of..ya..i'm timid n braveless..should i think of those stupid things to live my life in U?? never n ever..just change my personaliy..to win the true frn tht i hv lost..gv a small hand to those who dunno the meaning of frn.. set aside the bad of my dear..catch up the study in class..then should be more happier on the up coming days right?? Mr Blog..am i right??