Finally I'd able to settled the thicky memorial earlier than what I'm expected. So far, it is quite sure that no one insist to win the competition to avoid from next preparation of bundle of authorities. Frankly speaking, this 'compulsory' competition is not only killing my valuable times and also spiritual sacrifies. Besides, some news did upset our feeling to continue to strive for our potential future. Because, I may have less potential in future due to studying the unrecognised course now. I make a serious mistake that wasting times and moneys for about 5 years. 1/15 of my life become meaningless that strive for nothing. No matters how nice my planning is, I still cant fight for my destiny.
Fortunately, My little new borned nephew is delighting me. A new family member in my family after Yan. Altough I'm yet to see him, but I know he is adorable, coz he is my nephew.
23 of me, what am I doing here..?
Where is my dream?and..
Where is my future?
Can I seek remedy in court to compensate my dream and my ambition?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Hollow Valentine's Day~
Time flies and I would have my 4th Valentine's Day tomorrow with him. As usual, nothing special for such a worth celebration day. We are not that kind of romantical couple and he is not a partner that know to give surprise or any preparation of celebrating such a day that deem not special at all. However, I'm only a normal girl who usually looking for the celebration of valentine but I felt moodless to celebrate with him too, because I knew that it is nothing special and he wont pemper you more that day. All in all, Valentine's day has become perfunctory to us and I prefer to celebrate Halloween than this. At least Halloween Day bring me mysterious and surprise.
For me, the aim of Valentine's day change with the degree of relationship of a couple. From my view, only one word can describe our current relationship, and that is 'RELUCTANT'. We found many things that we are not able to accept from each other.This is apparent to discover through out the daily conversation that normally end up with argument. We felt lazy to bother each other matters and selfishness became obvious.Frankly said, I'm in the dilemmas of making decision to either ending or continuing our relationship.
Sometimes, I did feel his intention to make such decision. Just like what he said to me today, he is waiting for me to suggest ending with a tune of kidding. Does it mean that I was permitted to make my last decision at any time from just now? Should I give him up?Does his suit me?I dont like to hear a word of 'afraid' from him. I like his family?Not so...am I asking these too late? I think so.. Last time..I said I need him to change...infact..he did change a lot..but changing from the previous one that I'm admire to another one of him now. He looks more courages and creative previously and it is quite different from now that he needs a lot of my opinion to make decision for him. I dunno why ... This is not a man I want ..Infact I will need him to suggest me to be better instead of I making decision for him.
How~~~~??????? Tired~
For me, the aim of Valentine's day change with the degree of relationship of a couple. From my view, only one word can describe our current relationship, and that is 'RELUCTANT'. We found many things that we are not able to accept from each other.This is apparent to discover through out the daily conversation that normally end up with argument. We felt lazy to bother each other matters and selfishness became obvious.Frankly said, I'm in the dilemmas of making decision to either ending or continuing our relationship.
Sometimes, I did feel his intention to make such decision. Just like what he said to me today, he is waiting for me to suggest ending with a tune of kidding. Does it mean that I was permitted to make my last decision at any time from just now? Should I give him up?Does his suit me?I dont like to hear a word of 'afraid' from him. I like his family?Not so...am I asking these too late? I think so.. Last time..I said I need him to change...infact..he did change a lot..but changing from the previous one that I'm admire to another one of him now. He looks more courages and creative previously and it is quite different from now that he needs a lot of my opinion to make decision for him. I dunno why ... This is not a man I want ..Infact I will need him to suggest me to be better instead of I making decision for him.
How~~~~??????? Tired~
Friday, February 6, 2009
He did not change...
Wondering why... I need him changing.. Perhaps the one who need change is me. But at least I did something to remind me to be kind and generous to others in every aspect that I may not permit previously. Then what he did? Does he remind himself as me? like the basic manner of respecting others especially his own family members or the nearest one?
I understand that he did not show his manner in that way maliciously. And I did understand that his way of talking may inherited from some of his family members. However, people should take care of the manner when talking with others. Atleast we use to speak softly when expressing our view or communicating with others. A manner person shouldnt shout during a conversation. Such manner make me to recall a person who is my secondary school bus uncle that he always shout to his friends as greeting or shouting while scolding those vehicle whichever blocking his road. Anyway.. he is not my bus uncle or an uneducated sam seng; he is a undergraduate student with future career of engineer. How could he behave like that?
As what I've said earlier, I'm quite a kind of kind person and I'm still able to stand for his manner of talking but I cant able to accept her way of showing face to me infront of third party where I've serious felt irrespectful. Yet..he is shouting in that way to me at the time that his brother was in between us. Although did not see each other yet can hear. This is a kind of characteristic that not easier to correct. Should I kindly correct him in future or just give him up to avoid his overwhelming character in future? Many time... I did think of giving up our relationship due to no confident to continue with him to the stage of marry. He always require me to do something that seems to perfect his life without consider me. He knew the possibility of my future career, even he sounds support me but he will says something which are not inpire to move on at all. He wish me to become his future house wife who only know to cook, plant flower and spend his money. Yet, this is definitely not me! If I prepare to have such a dull future marry life then I wont spend so much of omoney and time to have a place in Uni.
A big gap indeed!! God bless..
I understand that he did not show his manner in that way maliciously. And I did understand that his way of talking may inherited from some of his family members. However, people should take care of the manner when talking with others. Atleast we use to speak softly when expressing our view or communicating with others. A manner person shouldnt shout during a conversation. Such manner make me to recall a person who is my secondary school bus uncle that he always shout to his friends as greeting or shouting while scolding those vehicle whichever blocking his road. Anyway.. he is not my bus uncle or an uneducated sam seng; he is a undergraduate student with future career of engineer. How could he behave like that?
As what I've said earlier, I'm quite a kind of kind person and I'm still able to stand for his manner of talking but I cant able to accept her way of showing face to me infront of third party where I've serious felt irrespectful. Yet..he is shouting in that way to me at the time that his brother was in between us. Although did not see each other yet can hear. This is a kind of characteristic that not easier to correct. Should I kindly correct him in future or just give him up to avoid his overwhelming character in future? Many time... I did think of giving up our relationship due to no confident to continue with him to the stage of marry. He always require me to do something that seems to perfect his life without consider me. He knew the possibility of my future career, even he sounds support me but he will says something which are not inpire to move on at all. He wish me to become his future house wife who only know to cook, plant flower and spend his money. Yet, this is definitely not me! If I prepare to have such a dull future marry life then I wont spend so much of omoney and time to have a place in Uni.
A big gap indeed!! God bless..
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Am I back to the confident situation??
Time flies... It has been 4 months didnt post a blog here. Yet I have been experience a lot within this particular period that brought me positive light in future.
The most titious obstacle has been solved and had also been through 3 months of Legal Attachment successfully. Besides, I did experience a wonderful Chinese New Year in between this particular period. All things appear wonderful to me currently. Due to the over perfect situation, I start worrying about losing my persistency in achieving tasks perfectly. I know I should always to have an attitude that to do thing perfectly in every matter at hand. Like what has been found in a book that " Good is not good when there is a better ". So I should always bear in mind that try to be the better than the good one.
The most titious obstacle has been solved and had also been through 3 months of Legal Attachment successfully. Besides, I did experience a wonderful Chinese New Year in between this particular period. All things appear wonderful to me currently. Due to the over perfect situation, I start worrying about losing my persistency in achieving tasks perfectly. I know I should always to have an attitude that to do thing perfectly in every matter at hand. Like what has been found in a book that " Good is not good when there is a better ". So I should always bear in mind that try to be the better than the good one.
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