Am I IN or OUT of progress???

The topic is directed at me being a Legal Attachee for 3 weeks. IN or OUT? I'm quite puzzling to this question; which can only be determined by him who ran into my life by a pre-determined destiny.The people around him including me were kind of afraid of him due to his particulars attitudes; I just couldnt explain why he is at the same time attractive.He is not good looking, not considered as kind-hearted or good-natured, he is however straight forward, high-expectation to the people around him,he might be prejudice or even materialistic but he has a kind of disposition that is so attractive. Perhaps, he should be considered as a kind of man who is deserved to be admired by his achievements and excellant abilities or gifted intelligent.

Thus, no matter how particular he is to me by sarcastic or direct censure, I still think that he is attractive.. in the sense of his way of delivery knowledges and thinking to me that trying to volume down his voice and be patience to me (which he is not to others)..looks cute and attractive. Nevertheless, this is the only impression he gave me through out the passed 3 weeks, I believed that everything has its own reason that made others think that he is so impersonal.

Yes, he is particular, sometimes he really got his points; however, his extra particulars did confuse me most of the times. I know my English is bad, I know nth of Legal Drafting, I could have used the worst grammar in the initial stage of my legal practise that cause him taking prejudice on me. Nevertheless, when I did sth ok, pls just say ok since sth has been clearly suggested correct.When you are correcting sth which is correct, it doesnt help but making me more confusing as to whether your opinions to my works are purely base on your discretion or certain basis?

I do really wish to gain more practical legal experience in his firm not only for my pupillage but to the extent of his business. I do not wish to cofine my legal career in a little bird cage, I wish to see more and learn more practicaly with wide exposure derive from his firm business.

I might be out of progress to myself but in the progress to him, or neither make sense to my progress?

Stressful lunch yet learn a lot

Today is my second week of so called attachment. Lunch with bosses as usual, stressful but full of experience. I've less work to do now, but my six sense told me that my master did not plan to bother me for this moment. I dunno whether I'm too sensitive or thinking too much or whether my six sense is true, I felt my master treat me differently after I've submitted by work to him. Is he not satisfy my work or thinking that I'm worst of the worst that wasting his time and material in his firm? I couldnt explain why, I cant speak or answer a very basic question posted by them properly. Even it was just a single question of do u like or dislike sth. I'm so stress when togather with them who were those senior professionals. I felt I'm just like a garbage among them. Asking me which book of which author, which subject of which principle, Fifa world cup etc with most of my answer of I DUNNO....what the fuck pupil I am? Knowing nth, I believe I'm a young ppl who is living dull life to them coz I dunno n hv no intrested in so many things. What is my problem? I think I need to list them down and find way to curb it, as there must be a way out am I right?

1. What make you so inconfident?
- My English
-My ability
-My professinal manners
-My performance
-My master reaction to my performance
-My lack of general knowledge

2. Will you become confident if all the problems solved?
Yes if :-
-my English is as good as Juli.
-my ability of speed is superb
-I have excellent professional manners
-Excellent performance
-Impress my colleagues and all bosses, not only certain bosses or master.
-I know most of the things.

3. What next?
-read, speak and write in English as much as possible with good grammar.
-set time limit to finish taks thru most efficient method.
-answer to ppl confidently and always watch out personal conduct and act in the most polite way.
-be vigilant and patience in handling all tasks; take initiative to make clear of every unclear matters.
-read more magazine and news papers.

Yes. There is a way out! Be confident and just do it!

My official legal life...

My legal career begun; there are the new challenges every day and currently I edi adapt to the working life, environment and colleagues.

I do have my personal office which I found myself an official legal practisional n profession. I'm the yougest in the firm, so far they treat me very nicely. I dunno whether there is a sincere response or a disguised interaction, I will only think and learn positively. Because I know what my strength and weakness is, nth to pretend.

There are total 5 partners and 1 LA, frm my observasion, my master is the main shareholder while the rest were partners. Surprisingly, my master seems like a demon tht everyone including the partners are deem so scare of him. However,as far as I'm concern, I prefer to talk to my master than those partners.I like his straighforwardness and unpretending character, yes is yes; no is no; crytal clear. Whereas,others partners who might considered as my partial masters were quite pretending to me, in some time. G n R were talkative, G is consider helpful but I couldnt explain why, be tht as it may, I couldnt sense his sincerity of helping me, feeling more of utilizing me. R deem humour but easily take prejudice on ppl intrinsically. Tee is extra ordinary quiet man, not only in the office but during lunch or rest time.Chok is a workolic while Joey seems to me a happy woman who has no debt n working as for amateur. How fast I recognised a person within only 2 days? haha.. this is base on my 6 sense n feeling to tht ppl, quite accurate.

Well... accumulated works are waiting for me.. other challenges ahead, GAMBATTEHNEH~~

My last unemployed weekend

It is quite enjoy but a little bit of rushing today; spending time with sisters n children shopping and having movie with old frns. Although rush, yet pretty enjoyful.

During the gathering with old frns, I see no face expression from Ging Sin who looks groomy n blue through out the journey. This is what i've discovered since the very first gathering with her after she start her working life last month ago. She was anyway clear my doubt with her truth working life experience which she had has in few weeks. She claimed that she need to answer phones n reply sms even during weekend which is suppose her rest days, thats why she deem no mood for entertainments or chit chatting with us. It sounds quite scarry and terrible to me. Then I start thinking whether I will become like her soon after a week of chambering?? How should I deal with all those stress and ensuring my power to work keep sustaining for better job's performance? How to hv better communication with boss n colleagues n reduce the tendency of misunderstanding to the least?

I'm really curious, wondering, suspicious and wish to gain more confident and self-esteem to meet up my new life and curb those stress and hitches. I really hope that I'm able to go through all challenges with all my strength and abilities.

Be tough, be strong and be opstimistic to every challenges!! TRUST MYSELF AND I CAN DO IT!!!

Officially Graduated!!!!

The final result has been released and it is not a bad news atleast I hv been successfully graduated from Law School. Hehe.. This post is the most delighted post I hv recently. Although the result is not excellent to me, but acceptable la, as long as can graduated. Next monday going to start working, I dunno whether I have fully prepared or not, I just trying my best to revise certain important principles, just hope that I'll able to remember it and apply the same efficiently during work.

I went to Immigration department alone to renew my ic, and it is surprisingly efficient. I hv my IC done within only 40 miniutes. The fastest application I went through in the gov department during this 23 years, I think should gv a thumb up for them.

2 more days will officially end my jubelee. Working machine gonna start and the working life is offcially welcoming me, is scare? happy? challenging? I think i will discover all soon.

GOD BLESS ME :)

Reluctant way of life...

I did not feeling ok recently as I did not satisfy the current life style in my home town that ought to be good to me. In fact, I didnt satisfy with quite many things. First, my family, second, my inconvenience's life, third, myself. Everything to me were deem to be in the bad condition that hv make my mind sick.

The family is considered as an origin for each of us. A bad structured family will definitely affects a human well being who might become emotionally or spiritually handicap. I considered myself as one of them recently. I felt less happy after come bk to jb in comparison to in Melaka. I strongly felt that I was living in an already sicked family with few sick family members who I find I couldnt live with and communicate daily. Their attitude and thinking were drifted far away from me. The most serious one is my elder sis who still cannot control his over reaction, hypocrite and exeggerate attitude to us, her extreme speach on every matter to us has indirectly increasing our mental pressure. Mom is totally be out of line with the current society, I will never able to share my problem to her as she was just like giving up herself to understand others and even her own daughter, I found that she prefer to live a life of pretending dunno anything especially those will have a tendency to trouble her.

In many time, I find speechless to her innocent or naive believe to certain issue either from us or from the newspaper; TV shows. Besides, she will put in her detactive talent to suspect every issue that have come to her without logical basis or common. My eldest bro suffer a serious mentally illness which he himself or family has no idea to help. I always find that he is living in his veil of innorance; a world of only him; self-center and part with others. Dunno since when he lost his ability to apply the common notion of human interaction, for example the way and skill of gv and take, manner of good faith, gratefullness, appreciation, thankful etc.. He is to me was living in a situation of highly insecurity, self-doubt, self-defence, provoketive and easy to gain hatred against others for may be a trivial matters.

A person who live together with these ppl for long will gradually lost his or her self-esteem and confident.

I was actually trying my best to decrease the interaction with them to prevent more dispute occured. Somehow, I was afraid that I couldnt get the right direction to survive in a diversity society since my family has always giving me wrong signal or way to get along with others. A weak foundation of one family will hardly form a successful person because such person has lost his origin support which is normally show the correct signal when he or she encounter problems. I couldnt found such signal in my family because they will prefer you to go away from them when u r facing problem. In many time, I hv to try my best and come out with many ideas to go thru those hitches without family to count on. In certain extend, it is somehow instill my strengthness to survive independently in a community. On the other hand, I found myself impersonal or a little self-center as a result of the bad signal received from the family.

Many things have to be prepared to face myself as it is foreseeable that no one will care so much of you after work. Sounds like a sad thing; since when the interaction in my family only build on the benefit and return; yes or no; there is no something which is sustaining in between yes or no; you must do sth for the sake of.. will normally heard in my family; no such thing be done purely on the purpose of gift or good faith; every benefit u take must endowed with consideration. I felt like living in a small commercial community in my family. I dunno whether i can stand for this situation for long coz when I overloaded with pressure in work, I might be sophocated for another kind of pressure which should not appear to me at home which is use to be sweet but not pressure to many people, thts why people call it home sweet home.Due to this foreseeable pressure, inconvenience and reluctant to live in the current home. I hope that I can form my Home Sweet Home sonnest possible with all my ability and strengthness.

The second unsatifaction is the inconvenience life I have now withous a private transport. I felt quite ashame when frns ask me why ur house dun hv a temporary vehicle for you to make a short distance transport? I will of coz not answer tht in detail as i Dont wanna reveal my sick family. Normally I will only answer INCONVENIENCE. What a pity? I dunno whether others family has a same family life style as me, for time being and among my frns, I found I'm the only one.

Third, myself. I hv seriously lack of perseverance and patiance to complete things I planned. I start worrying my performance will sadden and disappointing my boss soon after few weeks or days or the on the very first day of my work. Who ? Except myself; although many things still need to depend on myself, but I will be tired and need the strength from someone to support and safe me out frm the current dull life.