Current live

It is going to be the second week of my chambering with Yeo.Something strange and unexpected had happened since filing my petition.I always thought that my learning scope is gonna be wider once petition filed at KL High Court. However, the response he had delivered were disappointing me. I even cry alone in the office's wash room because of nothing to do, what a sad and radiculous action it is? It must be something wrong to me as I think I'm the only and the first people in the world who crying for the reason of nothing to do in the office.

Frankly, I'm this kind of person, because I have my own expectation to me, such expectation is for my future but others peoples or others purposes. I do expect something from Yeo and YTHT. His negative response to me had put me in the extreame paradox and self-doubting. He completely put me into a stage of stagnation which I wish it will never happen to me during my pupilage, I want a fruitful, experienced and meaningful journey of pupilage, instaead of only accupying an office room acted like a young lawyer in the firm. I hate this feeling and I felt I'm down-grading myself that causing me insecure.

Sometimes, I really short of idea to Yeo. He is putting me beside his room, giving me nothing to do yet he treating me quite good from his tiny caring action and his attitude to me. He was as expected remember my birthday last week and took initiative to send me the birthday wish in the morning. Yet, he gave nothing to me in term of to acheive the purpose of pupilage. Based on the pupilage handbook that I was just possessed last week, I was stucked in the very initial stage of learning and there are more to learn within this short period in which I really afraid of I will still stuck at the same stage even few months passed.

I was crying alone in the toilet for not only self-disappointed and also disappointed to his promise made during the interview and disappointed to my current situation where learning nothing with little salary. I dont care who he is, even he can become a Sultan out of sudden but he is still the person who previously promise to deliver something useful to guarantee my future legal career, he is irresponsible and I'll consider him as a lier if none of his promise fruitful despite of his position, either Dato or sultan, I dont care. I think i should talk my mind to him in case I'm still learning nothing in my future pupilage.

I wish if this is the only time for me to pray for the same thing. My dear God, Papa and my beloved Ancestre who in the heaven and of you really hear me, do bless me for not repeating the useless life start tomorrow onwards. Thank you and I'll really appreciate the blessing thy give. Good night!