Today is the first day of my second last trimester. As planned, I've brought several travelling information to frns to determine where to hv our final graduation trip. One thing I cant understand, I was being urged by someone to withdraw a Hong Kong trip from C gang who were our close frns. I know and understand that this is sth tht hard to inform coz no one will willing to do thing like breaking a promise. However, since matter involve 2 of us, you cant urge me only bcoz the reason of you yourself cannot do that. I know it is relunctant to be settled, but I will prefer to find out ideas together than to push all things to me alone, it is clearly not fair and act of selfishness. You alone cant do that does not mean I should be forced to do sth you do not want to do. On that time, I felt a bit of hot headed, but in order to preserve a peaceful final year and friendship, I trained myself to manage this thing patiancely. I believe, this is her character that hard to be realised herself, maybe the ppl who make her to realise of this is not me.
Result will come out a day after tml, I hv a bad sense for this coming truth. I know it will roughly be worst, I should hv tiny up my mind to be ready to accept this bad fruit from my inner heart. Nevertheless, my mind told me that I'm yet to be ready, I seems to circumventing the truth. Now, I start feeling scare that I'm not able to accept the truth which is cruel. I scare I cant bear it and start thinking extremely to my future. I scare i will lost my direction and self-esteem again. I scare being looking down by others. I scare..... but nth cured...
GOD BLESS~
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Hesitation with self-doubting
It has been long time I didnt write sth here. Time flies and time did reserve about half year for me to live without suffer from works, money and debt. However, i know i cant circumvent from these. Besides, I should have ready to manage and work on plan asap to adapt those up coming challeges.
Few months ago, mom did mention about house moving matters. Then we bought a house for 280 k yesterday. It sound like too rush when making this decision, it is quite hard to believe too whenever i recall bk this decision. Nevertheless, i think opportunity will not wait ppl. I just heositate why YN who is not the contributor is like more exciting and desire to buy tht house than us who were the main investors. Although, she own a same property near our unit, I think we should take into account her intention and put in concern from being taken advantages by someone.
Actually 4 of us own tht property i also cant believe that i edi have a property to worry before i can get a proper career. Anyway, since everything are subject to a proper arrangement then what i need to do is to have a proper financial management for future. As many people should know, there must have certain tendency of conflict when combine investment did among the sibling. However, nothing is impossible if all of us willing to work according to the plan.
Having a property is like feeding a child, therefore i should be more mature in every decision i will going to make and whatever i do.
23 of me, responsible for every success in my career, responsible for family, responsible for property and reaponsible for my partner and friends but should nvr forget to love myself too. So... I should be stronger and harsh to face those challenges, and i know i can do it!!! Add oil lor~~~
Few months ago, mom did mention about house moving matters. Then we bought a house for 280 k yesterday. It sound like too rush when making this decision, it is quite hard to believe too whenever i recall bk this decision. Nevertheless, i think opportunity will not wait ppl. I just heositate why YN who is not the contributor is like more exciting and desire to buy tht house than us who were the main investors. Although, she own a same property near our unit, I think we should take into account her intention and put in concern from being taken advantages by someone.
Actually 4 of us own tht property i also cant believe that i edi have a property to worry before i can get a proper career. Anyway, since everything are subject to a proper arrangement then what i need to do is to have a proper financial management for future. As many people should know, there must have certain tendency of conflict when combine investment did among the sibling. However, nothing is impossible if all of us willing to work according to the plan.
Having a property is like feeding a child, therefore i should be more mature in every decision i will going to make and whatever i do.
23 of me, responsible for every success in my career, responsible for family, responsible for property and reaponsible for my partner and friends but should nvr forget to love myself too. So... I should be stronger and harsh to face those challenges, and i know i can do it!!! Add oil lor~~~
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The 1st blog in my 23~
I've grew older a year at 23 hours ago. Today is my birthday, nth much special for celebration except the one I have it at last weekend which is awesome and it was so great to celebrate bday with a gang of friends. Bear likes low profile way of celebration. So we only hv our dinner at Jusco Nondo to celebrate our bday. Frankly said, I felt thare is nth special to celebrate birthday when grewing older. To me, the crucial age such as 18 refers adult & 21 years old (year to hv freedom from parents) years tht worth celebrate has been past. So nth significant to celebrate this year despite the fact tht i'm growing older.
23 years old, I'm still a final year student with narrow knowledge and debt. 23 years old of others may hv done sth which were great and mature. Today, my birthday, I found myself still living in the atmosphere of childish when R (Lecturer) has shared his 'story' with us during the tutorial session. Few years later of today, the same scene seems to display again in MMU Law sch among lecturers. Matter in concern seems to relate numbers of lecturers and students. "story' start with the 'numbers of A's students' given by R to the last batch of the graduated students. Story seems to suggest that the head of the sch department not happy with tht much of A's given and intent to subotage the current final year students by planting few coverts to spy R's conduct of teaching during the lecture session. Does the whole scenario sounds childish?
R then looks really lost his temper and start grumpying to us during 1 hour tutorial session due to such matter seems like making his mind mess that not able to conduct a proper tutorial session today.When he was trying to gain some support and sympathy from us, several questions pop up in my mind...
1. If he was dissatifying his head, why dont he inquire to head directly instead of gaining support by grumpying the head of law sch and others to us?
2. Why should we as normal students share his burden by giving him a solution to settle such so called his office politic? Dont we pay for study?and what is this politic to do with us?
3. If he was so brave as what he told us by showing his esperiance of killing culprits during his service in the police force and not fearing of anyone but God. Why dont he show his brave to have a nice talk with Ms F to settle such problem effeciently and properly after praying to his God?
4. If he is going to teach genuinely for the sake of our future as what he is usually say (helping us to pass or achieving 1st class honour), I dont think it is proper for him to stress us to take any action against his head of department? Does it sound like borrow one knife to kill others? Finaly, I will just see the one who getting benefit is him, and to be more frank is to sacrify us for his own interest.
He is prima facie to be sympatied when he was grumpying to us. However, I found tht he is actually quite extreme, selfish and immature through out his act of handling this matter. All I can say is that my first impression to him at the very first day is quite accurate. Actually, he has choosing wrong career to be a lecturer due to his self-center attitude. He may in certain extent a GOOD lecturer (likes to gv As' to students), but this method of teaching has double edge sword effect that although helping students pass or graduating with flying colour, on the other hand it may harm the students when he/she cannot cover those tough issues that relating to tht particular subject during the chambering period. His As' result may gv wrong impression to a particular firm who may later disappointed by his/her performance and indirectly downgrading MMU Law's course standard and image.
Sometimes, altough one seems to hv excellant esperience from the past, but since we able to live one day, there is thing to learn from. Whenever there is the problem occur, think about both side and dont stingy to judge upon yourself or put yourself to the opposite situation before taking any action or begin any accusation to others.
This is the first lesson I learned from R in my 23!!
Hope he can understand soon.GOD bless~
23 years old, I'm still a final year student with narrow knowledge and debt. 23 years old of others may hv done sth which were great and mature. Today, my birthday, I found myself still living in the atmosphere of childish when R (Lecturer) has shared his 'story' with us during the tutorial session. Few years later of today, the same scene seems to display again in MMU Law sch among lecturers. Matter in concern seems to relate numbers of lecturers and students. "story' start with the 'numbers of A's students' given by R to the last batch of the graduated students. Story seems to suggest that the head of the sch department not happy with tht much of A's given and intent to subotage the current final year students by planting few coverts to spy R's conduct of teaching during the lecture session. Does the whole scenario sounds childish?
R then looks really lost his temper and start grumpying to us during 1 hour tutorial session due to such matter seems like making his mind mess that not able to conduct a proper tutorial session today.When he was trying to gain some support and sympathy from us, several questions pop up in my mind...
1. If he was dissatifying his head, why dont he inquire to head directly instead of gaining support by grumpying the head of law sch and others to us?
2. Why should we as normal students share his burden by giving him a solution to settle such so called his office politic? Dont we pay for study?and what is this politic to do with us?
3. If he was so brave as what he told us by showing his esperiance of killing culprits during his service in the police force and not fearing of anyone but God. Why dont he show his brave to have a nice talk with Ms F to settle such problem effeciently and properly after praying to his God?
4. If he is going to teach genuinely for the sake of our future as what he is usually say (helping us to pass or achieving 1st class honour), I dont think it is proper for him to stress us to take any action against his head of department? Does it sound like borrow one knife to kill others? Finaly, I will just see the one who getting benefit is him, and to be more frank is to sacrify us for his own interest.
He is prima facie to be sympatied when he was grumpying to us. However, I found tht he is actually quite extreme, selfish and immature through out his act of handling this matter. All I can say is that my first impression to him at the very first day is quite accurate. Actually, he has choosing wrong career to be a lecturer due to his self-center attitude. He may in certain extent a GOOD lecturer (likes to gv As' to students), but this method of teaching has double edge sword effect that although helping students pass or graduating with flying colour, on the other hand it may harm the students when he/she cannot cover those tough issues that relating to tht particular subject during the chambering period. His As' result may gv wrong impression to a particular firm who may later disappointed by his/her performance and indirectly downgrading MMU Law's course standard and image.
Sometimes, altough one seems to hv excellant esperience from the past, but since we able to live one day, there is thing to learn from. Whenever there is the problem occur, think about both side and dont stingy to judge upon yourself or put yourself to the opposite situation before taking any action or begin any accusation to others.
This is the first lesson I learned from R in my 23!!
Hope he can understand soon.GOD bless~
Friday, June 5, 2009
Who will be my wedding man??
Ppl might wonder my question as i ady found a potential one. Nevertheless... I'm still wondering is he the suitable one?? Is any differences about the ideal one and a potential one?? i think that is quite numbers of differences.
I received a wedding invitation from one of my coursemate (SY) promptly few days before. This good news is shocking me but in order to show face and send a sincere congrate, so i decided to attend her wedding dinner on next friday. Never think that my first wedding ceremony to be attended is going to contribute to SY among from my frns. I dunno whether she was actually plan to invite me coz she did not sms to inform, I knew this from William, a coursemate, then i was thinking that although she did not personally invite me, since I knew about this, so just mannerly sent her msg to congrate as she was my quite familiar coursemate. She then invite me to her wedding ceremony is not considered as too tick faces rights??coz is not me to force her to invite me mar.. coz i tot she was possibly dunno that i ady change my hp numbers. Haha.. I oso dunno why i need to explain so much about the whole situation or invitation procedure, coz I think I always think that evryone treat me as transparent, even whoelse' big day will not think of me, haiz...to low-self-esteem... I should built up my confident asap.. Think too much is my weakness!
Well... actually, except SY, I have quite a lot of same ages ex-schmates have got their married in the early day of secondary sch graduation, few were before graduation. SY shock me is because she was actually going to start a relationship with one of my coursemate before and yet it was failed. We just cant belive that she will get marry so soon after that so called "going to start" relationship. Everyone was guesting who is her husband? Why so suddenly? Is LOVE so hard to predict? I think so. Everyone will ask me that am i going to get marry soon after U graduation? Of course, in the eye of those ppl who know me will think that it is not surprise if they heard of or receive my wedding invitation soon after graduation, but for me, it may not be happened or at least not as soon as what they were expected.
Dunno.. I treat Marry as important as my life. I wont simply or even ppl may think tht guy was secure for me to marry to, I will still hesitating a lot. Frankly say, I believe, ur life partner is those who has fate with you and occur in the right time and place. I'm not quite believe that a boy friend who in a relationship with you for 5 or 6 years will definitely is your future husband. Because the possibility for LOVE to change is 20% while the possibility that fate will fade away is 50%, future planning 30%. Who will going to be your future husband is very hard to predict.
Again, I think i have mentioned quite many times before, Bear is not my targeted partner. However, I think I will hardly find another one who able to stay with me in such a compromise situation like him in the rest of my life time. In other words, he may not my targeted boy friend but he is so far the one who i found can stay together with me peacefully and harmoniously.
My targeted husband should be those who willing to give a try for his ambitious, smart, brave, know to strive for better live in future by using his knowledge wisely, those who like to proof whatever he can acheive and etc.. Those guys who prepared these quality will naturally attracting me despite their good or bad looking. Hmm... Bear is not quite of this type of category, instead, I will show more courages than him to achieve certain thing i want in future. So far...I found 2 who belong the category, CLF and CVY. Ha..both start with C will have much courages to strive their future?? Ya.. both this two are those guys .. I believe .. will able to sustain their partner and chidren life in future without more consideration.
CLF, a lawyer who owned a firm in his early 30th. Without much saying, as far as i know him, he is definitely has those qualities I mentioned. However, I also knew that he will be a kind of guy who willing to put 80% care in his career while 20% care to wife and children. I juse met him yesterday, sis said i got fate with him coz wcan meet him over there! hmm.. I gv this statement a reserve as i do not think i always meet him everywhere... but the moment he appear in front of me was quite charming and attract my attention to him. And... couldnt explain why i felt bit of excited....
CVY, ex-bf. A perfect wanted man! He seems to me that he will achieve eveything he want to. He told me he love to watch Japan drama at my Form 5, after broke up, I heard from him that he was learning Japanese Language, soon after that he told me that he decided to study at Japan for 2 years by applying a Japan U Scholarship and yet he got that! If not mistaken, he will finish his Japan journey cum study on next year. He is another man I met who will acheive and do everything he promise to do. To me, he is always looking awesome in whatever he did....
Now, I got Bear close beside me, nevertheless, I reserve the 2 above in my contact list...hehe.. I think .. I cant predict what will happen in future, I believe... Mr FATE will lead me ..I wish my frn SY has found her husband with good fate, I know many ppl may not looking good towards her future married life, I believe, what will happen in your future life is depend on how you going to sustain it.. add oil SY and enjoy ur life with your partner happily!! :D
I received a wedding invitation from one of my coursemate (SY) promptly few days before. This good news is shocking me but in order to show face and send a sincere congrate, so i decided to attend her wedding dinner on next friday. Never think that my first wedding ceremony to be attended is going to contribute to SY among from my frns. I dunno whether she was actually plan to invite me coz she did not sms to inform, I knew this from William, a coursemate, then i was thinking that although she did not personally invite me, since I knew about this, so just mannerly sent her msg to congrate as she was my quite familiar coursemate. She then invite me to her wedding ceremony is not considered as too tick faces rights??coz is not me to force her to invite me mar.. coz i tot she was possibly dunno that i ady change my hp numbers. Haha.. I oso dunno why i need to explain so much about the whole situation or invitation procedure, coz I think I always think that evryone treat me as transparent, even whoelse' big day will not think of me, haiz...to low-self-esteem... I should built up my confident asap.. Think too much is my weakness!
Well... actually, except SY, I have quite a lot of same ages ex-schmates have got their married in the early day of secondary sch graduation, few were before graduation. SY shock me is because she was actually going to start a relationship with one of my coursemate before and yet it was failed. We just cant belive that she will get marry so soon after that so called "going to start" relationship. Everyone was guesting who is her husband? Why so suddenly? Is LOVE so hard to predict? I think so. Everyone will ask me that am i going to get marry soon after U graduation? Of course, in the eye of those ppl who know me will think that it is not surprise if they heard of or receive my wedding invitation soon after graduation, but for me, it may not be happened or at least not as soon as what they were expected.
Dunno.. I treat Marry as important as my life. I wont simply or even ppl may think tht guy was secure for me to marry to, I will still hesitating a lot. Frankly say, I believe, ur life partner is those who has fate with you and occur in the right time and place. I'm not quite believe that a boy friend who in a relationship with you for 5 or 6 years will definitely is your future husband. Because the possibility for LOVE to change is 20% while the possibility that fate will fade away is 50%, future planning 30%. Who will going to be your future husband is very hard to predict.
Again, I think i have mentioned quite many times before, Bear is not my targeted partner. However, I think I will hardly find another one who able to stay with me in such a compromise situation like him in the rest of my life time. In other words, he may not my targeted boy friend but he is so far the one who i found can stay together with me peacefully and harmoniously.
My targeted husband should be those who willing to give a try for his ambitious, smart, brave, know to strive for better live in future by using his knowledge wisely, those who like to proof whatever he can acheive and etc.. Those guys who prepared these quality will naturally attracting me despite their good or bad looking. Hmm... Bear is not quite of this type of category, instead, I will show more courages than him to achieve certain thing i want in future. So far...I found 2 who belong the category, CLF and CVY. Ha..both start with C will have much courages to strive their future?? Ya.. both this two are those guys .. I believe .. will able to sustain their partner and chidren life in future without more consideration.
CLF, a lawyer who owned a firm in his early 30th. Without much saying, as far as i know him, he is definitely has those qualities I mentioned. However, I also knew that he will be a kind of guy who willing to put 80% care in his career while 20% care to wife and children. I juse met him yesterday, sis said i got fate with him coz wcan meet him over there! hmm.. I gv this statement a reserve as i do not think i always meet him everywhere... but the moment he appear in front of me was quite charming and attract my attention to him. And... couldnt explain why i felt bit of excited....
CVY, ex-bf. A perfect wanted man! He seems to me that he will achieve eveything he want to. He told me he love to watch Japan drama at my Form 5, after broke up, I heard from him that he was learning Japanese Language, soon after that he told me that he decided to study at Japan for 2 years by applying a Japan U Scholarship and yet he got that! If not mistaken, he will finish his Japan journey cum study on next year. He is another man I met who will acheive and do everything he promise to do. To me, he is always looking awesome in whatever he did....
Now, I got Bear close beside me, nevertheless, I reserve the 2 above in my contact list...hehe.. I think .. I cant predict what will happen in future, I believe... Mr FATE will lead me ..I wish my frn SY has found her husband with good fate, I know many ppl may not looking good towards her future married life, I believe, what will happen in your future life is depend on how you going to sustain it.. add oil SY and enjoy ur life with your partner happily!! :D
Monday, April 27, 2009
When route is prepared, we should appreciate the way to success!!
It was a good news that our Law Course has been gazzeted by AG and recognised by Bar Council. Apparently I no need to take any examination after graduation and can proceed my pupilage in Legal Firm while attending required program that conducted by Bar Council and MMU. Thanks God and the effort put by the University.
While I have nothing to worry about future I worry my current study. Yes, I'm natural born worrior. The current obstacle infront of me is less time to understand and apply the course subject. Land Law was my weakness, I was a kind of ppl who hate procedure matters, or it might be an interesting subject but the lec make it difficult to be understood. I'm very particular in the way of teaching by lecturer. I dun like Manique and Tay teaching style tht need student to jotting down notes from OHB while listen to their explaination. I rather they teach us orally for me to jot down notes than to see the board and listen to them. It seperate my concentration.
It sounds like i'm complaining them for my own weakness. Frankly, I know I hv to felt guilty to myself because of my unfocus concentration n laziness. My standard of requirement become lower today that restrict my achievement that could be higher. I should now always remind myself to be high quality in doing any work to prove to myself, family, outsider and future couleague that I'm not a suck Lawyer with the 'mere approval' from QB without any good qualification. I'm not!!! I want to prove that!!
I seriuosly know that there were a lot of lawyers especially those from overseas may discredit us due to our low standard of qualification compare to them. Thus, although we can successfully graduated and become chambee or fortunately a Lawyer one day, but i know it is important for us to back up ourself not only in legal knowledge but should cultivate others inner talents to face those future challenge that may be very tough to us.
The problem at hand is to curb the difficulty in understanding the Land subject and train to be more practical by increasing application skills.
When route is prepared we should appreciate the way to success.
While I have nothing to worry about future I worry my current study. Yes, I'm natural born worrior. The current obstacle infront of me is less time to understand and apply the course subject. Land Law was my weakness, I was a kind of ppl who hate procedure matters, or it might be an interesting subject but the lec make it difficult to be understood. I'm very particular in the way of teaching by lecturer. I dun like Manique and Tay teaching style tht need student to jotting down notes from OHB while listen to their explaination. I rather they teach us orally for me to jot down notes than to see the board and listen to them. It seperate my concentration.
It sounds like i'm complaining them for my own weakness. Frankly, I know I hv to felt guilty to myself because of my unfocus concentration n laziness. My standard of requirement become lower today that restrict my achievement that could be higher. I should now always remind myself to be high quality in doing any work to prove to myself, family, outsider and future couleague that I'm not a suck Lawyer with the 'mere approval' from QB without any good qualification. I'm not!!! I want to prove that!!
I seriuosly know that there were a lot of lawyers especially those from overseas may discredit us due to our low standard of qualification compare to them. Thus, although we can successfully graduated and become chambee or fortunately a Lawyer one day, but i know it is important for us to back up ourself not only in legal knowledge but should cultivate others inner talents to face those future challenge that may be very tough to us.
The problem at hand is to curb the difficulty in understanding the Land subject and train to be more practical by increasing application skills.
When route is prepared we should appreciate the way to success.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Nice assignment day~~
Since study for almost 5 years, I first found that it was so nice to do assignment together with some sincere friends in a confference room. We have done everything together and share our opinion to complete the assignment. I believe rare of them will able to do the same unless they were in a gang like us who know each other with a good sense.
I recall my memory, I found that even I did in a gang before, but we dun spend time together and finish an assignment. Maybe..they were the materialistic one, who not willing to spend 4 peoples time to do the samethings, that is the reason why, we seldom have consensus on certain thing instead of those non-sense.
I felt lucky and will appreciate them as my comrade who accompany my last year in MMU. Due to the bad experience that have been through previously, I still lack of confidence to put all my heart to them..I think time will prove everything where I hope they are worth for me to treasure in future.
Thank you my dear friends :)
I recall my memory, I found that even I did in a gang before, but we dun spend time together and finish an assignment. Maybe..they were the materialistic one, who not willing to spend 4 peoples time to do the samethings, that is the reason why, we seldom have consensus on certain thing instead of those non-sense.
I felt lucky and will appreciate them as my comrade who accompany my last year in MMU. Due to the bad experience that have been through previously, I still lack of confidence to put all my heart to them..I think time will prove everything where I hope they are worth for me to treasure in future.
Thank you my dear friends :)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Problem still finally back to us..
I was pretty happy to have a wonderful moment with my new gang sisters of MMU (which currently formed) in Dream Box 5 hours ago. We dance, sing, and get crazy in whatever manner that we will not express to others in U. I finally felt ENJOY vividly on that moment and of course I will treasure it.
MMU finally not dare to face us due to the bad news. The announcement for the recognition of our degree was delayed in an unreasonable manner that we were seriously felt deceived by the U department. We were came out with several ideas to find a way to sought our redress. Then the prob finally still turn to us. I admit that I was making a wrong decision during the enrolment but I do not think the U should circumvent all the responsibilities and ask us to bear all the bad consequences. Although we were making wrong decision (to believe in MMU) but MMU who offer this should try to remedy their own fault (in anyway MMU should have committed) by atleast give us some advise of what should we do in future or console us in an effective way. It was so sarcastic that we are studying a Law course in MMU which using unlawful avenues to invite those innocent students to study such unrecognised Law degree. This is the most stupid thing I ever did in my life .
This matter has seriously affect my study recently. As I was thiking of why putting effort for nothing in future, then it is like not worst to study so hard and smart to acheive highest grade in the course. My motivation to study has been seriously devastated by this unrecognise degree. I know this kind of thinking was bad, super negative and will never help me. I knew such thinking will harm my determination to be good and to be decisive to strike my goal in study and it wont help me in any way too.
Therefore, I wrote this blog today is to tell myself that I should change my mind to seperate the matter of unrecognise degree in future and acheiving my goal now. Before anything which I can really do to stand for my right, I should remember the only thing that I can do now is to study well not only for upgrade my study but to learn as much as possible of legal knowledge to stand for my right and defences purpose in future. I should never forget that legal knowledge will always usefull to me regardless its irrecognition.
Think wisely; dun act foolishly ^^
MMU finally not dare to face us due to the bad news. The announcement for the recognition of our degree was delayed in an unreasonable manner that we were seriously felt deceived by the U department. We were came out with several ideas to find a way to sought our redress. Then the prob finally still turn to us. I admit that I was making a wrong decision during the enrolment but I do not think the U should circumvent all the responsibilities and ask us to bear all the bad consequences. Although we were making wrong decision (to believe in MMU) but MMU who offer this should try to remedy their own fault (in anyway MMU should have committed) by atleast give us some advise of what should we do in future or console us in an effective way. It was so sarcastic that we are studying a Law course in MMU which using unlawful avenues to invite those innocent students to study such unrecognised Law degree. This is the most stupid thing I ever did in my life .
This matter has seriously affect my study recently. As I was thiking of why putting effort for nothing in future, then it is like not worst to study so hard and smart to acheive highest grade in the course. My motivation to study has been seriously devastated by this unrecognise degree. I know this kind of thinking was bad, super negative and will never help me. I knew such thinking will harm my determination to be good and to be decisive to strike my goal in study and it wont help me in any way too.
Therefore, I wrote this blog today is to tell myself that I should change my mind to seperate the matter of unrecognise degree in future and acheiving my goal now. Before anything which I can really do to stand for my right, I should remember the only thing that I can do now is to study well not only for upgrade my study but to learn as much as possible of legal knowledge to stand for my right and defences purpose in future. I should never forget that legal knowledge will always usefull to me regardless its irrecognition.
Think wisely; dun act foolishly ^^
Friday, March 20, 2009
A beautiful earth contain unatural thinking of human, unsatisfaction of me...
I was downloading an interesting software that enable to see every corners of the world just at your finger tips. Then only I realize my ignorance to many place that I never know it was so beautiful. I can even found my own house at JB with the very clear view from above. I was like looking into the earth from universe.Interesting!!!
But then after I've read an email from my sis, I start to hesitate the truefulness of beauty of the earth. It was a disgusting mail that I ever read, and I found myself cant control my mind to keep thinking of those disgusting illustration in the pictures and words that appear to me few minutes ago. That particular e-mail was depicting a group of villagers, [I think most probably at China from the picture],who have a culture to eat women for celebrating Chinese New Year every year. Usually they will caught a woman (those tourist) who passing by their village alone, and offer her good accomodation to stay at one of their member home and confine her in the house for 1 year in which they will provide rich meals to feed the woman in waiting for slaughtering on the coming Chinese New Year celebration.
They usually name that woman as 'piggy', because of poverty, they were not able to buy meat for CNY celebration, then they will simply caught a woman for the festival. The whole process was depicting vividly, from how they wrap her-->free her blood from throat-->slaughter, is totally similar to the way of butcher to slaughter a pig or cow. I cant deny that they were in the poverty, they may not educated, but they were human!! Where is their human instinct and humanity? How could they act like a beast? Even lion or tiger will not eat of the same kind. I believe such culture will never gain any respect from others due to not acceptable in the community standard of behavior.Instead, the whole villagers including the depictor should be charged under various sections of crimes and deserve for the world's condemnation. 100 times of death penalty also not sufficient for each of them as I believe they were many others victims who did not narrated by people.
If it is a true story, and I believe it is. Shall we left it as we dunno there were actually happened in the world. I pity that girl who shouting were never reply, I hope that abnormality narrator will be eaten soon by the villagers as they may change their appetite to eat man one day. I should appreciate that I was living in this normal and healthy community.Although my Land Law paper was poorly done this morning, I think I should look forward instead of keep blmaing myself for the mistake done in the exam. Blaming never cure the mistake.
However, I found that I was hard to adapt the study environment after completed Legal Training. I find difficulty to receive those academic information, especially to memorize the words which Lec 'required" or "style based answer" is like torturing me. Due to our status was still concealing by those irresponsible sectors, I've felt more fetigue to continue the study. It is like putting effort for nothing.
what to do?? Only can do what I was suppose to do now.
But then after I've read an email from my sis, I start to hesitate the truefulness of beauty of the earth. It was a disgusting mail that I ever read, and I found myself cant control my mind to keep thinking of those disgusting illustration in the pictures and words that appear to me few minutes ago. That particular e-mail was depicting a group of villagers, [I think most probably at China from the picture],who have a culture to eat women for celebrating Chinese New Year every year. Usually they will caught a woman (those tourist) who passing by their village alone, and offer her good accomodation to stay at one of their member home and confine her in the house for 1 year in which they will provide rich meals to feed the woman in waiting for slaughtering on the coming Chinese New Year celebration.
They usually name that woman as 'piggy', because of poverty, they were not able to buy meat for CNY celebration, then they will simply caught a woman for the festival. The whole process was depicting vividly, from how they wrap her-->free her blood from throat-->slaughter, is totally similar to the way of butcher to slaughter a pig or cow. I cant deny that they were in the poverty, they may not educated, but they were human!! Where is their human instinct and humanity? How could they act like a beast? Even lion or tiger will not eat of the same kind. I believe such culture will never gain any respect from others due to not acceptable in the community standard of behavior.Instead, the whole villagers including the depictor should be charged under various sections of crimes and deserve for the world's condemnation. 100 times of death penalty also not sufficient for each of them as I believe they were many others victims who did not narrated by people.
If it is a true story, and I believe it is. Shall we left it as we dunno there were actually happened in the world. I pity that girl who shouting were never reply, I hope that abnormality narrator will be eaten soon by the villagers as they may change their appetite to eat man one day. I should appreciate that I was living in this normal and healthy community.Although my Land Law paper was poorly done this morning, I think I should look forward instead of keep blmaing myself for the mistake done in the exam. Blaming never cure the mistake.
However, I found that I was hard to adapt the study environment after completed Legal Training. I find difficulty to receive those academic information, especially to memorize the words which Lec 'required" or "style based answer" is like torturing me. Due to our status was still concealing by those irresponsible sectors, I've felt more fetigue to continue the study. It is like putting effort for nothing.
what to do?? Only can do what I was suppose to do now.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Strange~~
Mid term exam is around the corner, I was just finish part of my study. As usual, I will memorize those materials by writing them down in few pieces of paper. Strange thing happened when after I was came back from Bear room, I found the second part of my writing paper disappear without reason.
Maybe..my situation is hard to believed by any one who know me as I always being a blur queen in the eyes of many of them. However, this time is pretty obvious that I did not move my paper away from the table from afternoon til night, whenever I've finished part of my writing, I will just put them aside on the table instead of moving them to another place. I was trying to convince myself that I was genuinely putting them in some where, but I could not after have been repeatedly recall my memory of few minutes ago. It is true that I didnt put them in any where, but infact they DISAPPEAR!!! Strange!!!
This is quite scaring me...and I'm now not really dare to turn in. But I'm just damn sleepy and wish to sleep early and continue my battle with case tml. What should I do now?????
Maybe..my situation is hard to believed by any one who know me as I always being a blur queen in the eyes of many of them. However, this time is pretty obvious that I did not move my paper away from the table from afternoon til night, whenever I've finished part of my writing, I will just put them aside on the table instead of moving them to another place. I was trying to convince myself that I was genuinely putting them in some where, but I could not after have been repeatedly recall my memory of few minutes ago. It is true that I didnt put them in any where, but infact they DISAPPEAR!!! Strange!!!
This is quite scaring me...and I'm now not really dare to turn in. But I'm just damn sleepy and wish to sleep early and continue my battle with case tml. What should I do now?????
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Am I wasting my time for impossible things???
I know my caption is negative, but this reflect my current true feeling....
I'm going to participate in the up coming moot competition on friday. Obviuosly, we are in the disadvantage position, at least I hv 4 disadvantages in this competition. Firstly, I have a weak partner, weak position as respondent, weak bundle which has been poorly done, and of coz a strong opponent. So..what can I expect for the match?Best oralist?or to win the match?? Which are those impossible things that I only have chance to dream of. I hope I can stop asking myself why God always put me in the most difficult circumstances that totaly different from others who seems like smooth in doing or achieving what they wish.
I do really hope that I can change my own view and to enjoy the match and took it as an experience in future. I admitted that I may not perform perfectly in my oral submission and shouldnt have too choossy to my partner. But...every signal shows that we are hopeless...although we feel like no interested in winning the match..but I do wish to try my best to have a good try to achieve everything which is available in the match since we already participated in it. I hate my negative thinking..I hope we can do as well as we could in the battle. God bless!
I'm going to participate in the up coming moot competition on friday. Obviuosly, we are in the disadvantage position, at least I hv 4 disadvantages in this competition. Firstly, I have a weak partner, weak position as respondent, weak bundle which has been poorly done, and of coz a strong opponent. So..what can I expect for the match?Best oralist?or to win the match?? Which are those impossible things that I only have chance to dream of. I hope I can stop asking myself why God always put me in the most difficult circumstances that totaly different from others who seems like smooth in doing or achieving what they wish.
I do really hope that I can change my own view and to enjoy the match and took it as an experience in future. I admitted that I may not perform perfectly in my oral submission and shouldnt have too choossy to my partner. But...every signal shows that we are hopeless...although we feel like no interested in winning the match..but I do wish to try my best to have a good try to achieve everything which is available in the match since we already participated in it. I hate my negative thinking..I hope we can do as well as we could in the battle. God bless!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Planning vs Destiny
Finally I'd able to settled the thicky memorial earlier than what I'm expected. So far, it is quite sure that no one insist to win the competition to avoid from next preparation of bundle of authorities. Frankly speaking, this 'compulsory' competition is not only killing my valuable times and also spiritual sacrifies. Besides, some news did upset our feeling to continue to strive for our potential future. Because, I may have less potential in future due to studying the unrecognised course now. I make a serious mistake that wasting times and moneys for about 5 years. 1/15 of my life become meaningless that strive for nothing. No matters how nice my planning is, I still cant fight for my destiny.
Fortunately, My little new borned nephew is delighting me. A new family member in my family after Yan. Altough I'm yet to see him, but I know he is adorable, coz he is my nephew.
23 of me, what am I doing here..?
Where is my dream?and..
Where is my future?
Can I seek remedy in court to compensate my dream and my ambition?
Fortunately, My little new borned nephew is delighting me. A new family member in my family after Yan. Altough I'm yet to see him, but I know he is adorable, coz he is my nephew.
23 of me, what am I doing here..?
Where is my dream?and..
Where is my future?
Can I seek remedy in court to compensate my dream and my ambition?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Hollow Valentine's Day~
Time flies and I would have my 4th Valentine's Day tomorrow with him. As usual, nothing special for such a worth celebration day. We are not that kind of romantical couple and he is not a partner that know to give surprise or any preparation of celebrating such a day that deem not special at all. However, I'm only a normal girl who usually looking for the celebration of valentine but I felt moodless to celebrate with him too, because I knew that it is nothing special and he wont pemper you more that day. All in all, Valentine's day has become perfunctory to us and I prefer to celebrate Halloween than this. At least Halloween Day bring me mysterious and surprise.
For me, the aim of Valentine's day change with the degree of relationship of a couple. From my view, only one word can describe our current relationship, and that is 'RELUCTANT'. We found many things that we are not able to accept from each other.This is apparent to discover through out the daily conversation that normally end up with argument. We felt lazy to bother each other matters and selfishness became obvious.Frankly said, I'm in the dilemmas of making decision to either ending or continuing our relationship.
Sometimes, I did feel his intention to make such decision. Just like what he said to me today, he is waiting for me to suggest ending with a tune of kidding. Does it mean that I was permitted to make my last decision at any time from just now? Should I give him up?Does his suit me?I dont like to hear a word of 'afraid' from him. I like his family?Not so...am I asking these too late? I think so.. Last time..I said I need him to change...infact..he did change a lot..but changing from the previous one that I'm admire to another one of him now. He looks more courages and creative previously and it is quite different from now that he needs a lot of my opinion to make decision for him. I dunno why ... This is not a man I want ..Infact I will need him to suggest me to be better instead of I making decision for him.
How~~~~??????? Tired~
For me, the aim of Valentine's day change with the degree of relationship of a couple. From my view, only one word can describe our current relationship, and that is 'RELUCTANT'. We found many things that we are not able to accept from each other.This is apparent to discover through out the daily conversation that normally end up with argument. We felt lazy to bother each other matters and selfishness became obvious.Frankly said, I'm in the dilemmas of making decision to either ending or continuing our relationship.
Sometimes, I did feel his intention to make such decision. Just like what he said to me today, he is waiting for me to suggest ending with a tune of kidding. Does it mean that I was permitted to make my last decision at any time from just now? Should I give him up?Does his suit me?I dont like to hear a word of 'afraid' from him. I like his family?Not so...am I asking these too late? I think so.. Last time..I said I need him to change...infact..he did change a lot..but changing from the previous one that I'm admire to another one of him now. He looks more courages and creative previously and it is quite different from now that he needs a lot of my opinion to make decision for him. I dunno why ... This is not a man I want ..Infact I will need him to suggest me to be better instead of I making decision for him.
How~~~~??????? Tired~
Friday, February 6, 2009
He did not change...
Wondering why... I need him changing.. Perhaps the one who need change is me. But at least I did something to remind me to be kind and generous to others in every aspect that I may not permit previously. Then what he did? Does he remind himself as me? like the basic manner of respecting others especially his own family members or the nearest one?
I understand that he did not show his manner in that way maliciously. And I did understand that his way of talking may inherited from some of his family members. However, people should take care of the manner when talking with others. Atleast we use to speak softly when expressing our view or communicating with others. A manner person shouldnt shout during a conversation. Such manner make me to recall a person who is my secondary school bus uncle that he always shout to his friends as greeting or shouting while scolding those vehicle whichever blocking his road. Anyway.. he is not my bus uncle or an uneducated sam seng; he is a undergraduate student with future career of engineer. How could he behave like that?
As what I've said earlier, I'm quite a kind of kind person and I'm still able to stand for his manner of talking but I cant able to accept her way of showing face to me infront of third party where I've serious felt irrespectful. Yet..he is shouting in that way to me at the time that his brother was in between us. Although did not see each other yet can hear. This is a kind of characteristic that not easier to correct. Should I kindly correct him in future or just give him up to avoid his overwhelming character in future? Many time... I did think of giving up our relationship due to no confident to continue with him to the stage of marry. He always require me to do something that seems to perfect his life without consider me. He knew the possibility of my future career, even he sounds support me but he will says something which are not inpire to move on at all. He wish me to become his future house wife who only know to cook, plant flower and spend his money. Yet, this is definitely not me! If I prepare to have such a dull future marry life then I wont spend so much of omoney and time to have a place in Uni.
A big gap indeed!! God bless..
I understand that he did not show his manner in that way maliciously. And I did understand that his way of talking may inherited from some of his family members. However, people should take care of the manner when talking with others. Atleast we use to speak softly when expressing our view or communicating with others. A manner person shouldnt shout during a conversation. Such manner make me to recall a person who is my secondary school bus uncle that he always shout to his friends as greeting or shouting while scolding those vehicle whichever blocking his road. Anyway.. he is not my bus uncle or an uneducated sam seng; he is a undergraduate student with future career of engineer. How could he behave like that?
As what I've said earlier, I'm quite a kind of kind person and I'm still able to stand for his manner of talking but I cant able to accept her way of showing face to me infront of third party where I've serious felt irrespectful. Yet..he is shouting in that way to me at the time that his brother was in between us. Although did not see each other yet can hear. This is a kind of characteristic that not easier to correct. Should I kindly correct him in future or just give him up to avoid his overwhelming character in future? Many time... I did think of giving up our relationship due to no confident to continue with him to the stage of marry. He always require me to do something that seems to perfect his life without consider me. He knew the possibility of my future career, even he sounds support me but he will says something which are not inpire to move on at all. He wish me to become his future house wife who only know to cook, plant flower and spend his money. Yet, this is definitely not me! If I prepare to have such a dull future marry life then I wont spend so much of omoney and time to have a place in Uni.
A big gap indeed!! God bless..
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Am I back to the confident situation??
Time flies... It has been 4 months didnt post a blog here. Yet I have been experience a lot within this particular period that brought me positive light in future.
The most titious obstacle has been solved and had also been through 3 months of Legal Attachment successfully. Besides, I did experience a wonderful Chinese New Year in between this particular period. All things appear wonderful to me currently. Due to the over perfect situation, I start worrying about losing my persistency in achieving tasks perfectly. I know I should always to have an attitude that to do thing perfectly in every matter at hand. Like what has been found in a book that " Good is not good when there is a better ". So I should always bear in mind that try to be the better than the good one.
The most titious obstacle has been solved and had also been through 3 months of Legal Attachment successfully. Besides, I did experience a wonderful Chinese New Year in between this particular period. All things appear wonderful to me currently. Due to the over perfect situation, I start worrying about losing my persistency in achieving tasks perfectly. I know I should always to have an attitude that to do thing perfectly in every matter at hand. Like what has been found in a book that " Good is not good when there is a better ". So I should always bear in mind that try to be the better than the good one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)