The little Joannne was just like a small adult that know everything in adult world. What i've referred were those proper things but others which poisoned one's mind.
It was pity that she cant live in a normal environment as others children. Again, the violent events have been played during yesterday night that poisoned the mind of little one. I'm amazed that she could explain how her dad did to her mom in such a sober note n she was just 3 years old. She told me that she want a new daddy and i could sense that she had formed a bad impression to her dad in her small world. I'm really pity her n wanna gv her more love than her own family will gv her. From the newspaper today, I found that our society has produced a lot of unrational parent that harm the innocent children? I couldnt understand the reason for sacrifice those children for thier own unrational emotion?
Besides, i've oso lose my understanding of family affection from the incident that i've been thru today. Sometimes, i really cant understand my mom that she seems like really dont know what should say according to the certain situation tht had broken her daughter heart. I mean ..for me tht should be a basic human instinct that one person will try to console one who is sad or encounter any unsolved problem. But in my family, this basic instinct doesnt exist. For many time of different incidents. My mom will rather say something that escalating one depression instead of helping one to think optimistically. I'm not dare to tell this prob to my closest one coz dunno how to solve the questions that he might threw to me later.And i know his question will show me up and i'm not intend to show my family up too. Paradoxically, when my bro said to my sis that mom always treat everyone like tht without giving any effective advice, but he was the one who agree what mom had said n ask my mom dun bother her so much!? What the hell he was talking?
Last but not least, i just hope that I could hv a normal family members who know to care each other when one encounter any hardship outside the family. No matter how, FAMILY was the only station tht one shall depend on , especially in the most difficult situation. We should at least preserve those care tht we can gv to our frns for each of our family member, so that one will never be alone when sth had happened to him or her.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Views of current situation..
There was an argument between me n bear yesterday. The main concern of the argument was the possibility of crash for his sis's wedding and the election day. For me, it is the responsibility for all malaysian to participate in this up coming election that will be a chance to give pressure to the current governing body. I was looking forward to make use of my vote to show my disagreement to the current government. However, thing may not as good as what i've expected. I found that God always try to challenge me recently. Perhaps, God knew that I'm poor in decision making, so that He wants me to determine something which is important for me. He wants me to choose whether to attend bear's sis wedding party for my responsibility as bear's partner, or to participate the election for my responsibility as a citizen of Malaysia. Both things consist of equal weight that more or less will influnce my future. I found that i'm in the dilemma to make an ideal choice.
Frankly, I thought that the thing will be easier to solve if one can understand each other. However, from his sober note , i think he will not tolerate with me to this matter. No doubt, guys always need his face more than everything and i believed that majority of my comrade will have the similar standpoint of mine toward guy's characteristic. Finally, we end up our conversation by leaving this matter unsolved yesterday. Therefore, i still need to choose between this 2 events.
I did think about the consequences of not attending each of the event, and i start to weight and compare the seriousness of the consequences that might occur.
Firstly, let's see the consequence of not attending the wedding ceremony. As what i've promise him recently, bear will definitely lost in confident to me and he may feel ashame to his family. Besides, I may leave a bad impression on his family especially his sister ( the bride ). From thier perspective, I may be a girl who lack of common courtesy and not respectable in his family.
On the other hand, the consequence of not particiapating the election seems not as serious as the former matter. However, it seems to disobey my own desire to do something and speak for my right to government in this coming election. Of cause, the governement wont change much because of my single vote owing to the popular myth that the election was just a method in form to show democracy exist in our country. But who know the truth?At least we did something, right? For my information, i'm the youngest badge in this coming election and i discovered that some of my comrades were not sensible about the important of election. It was quite suddens me. I know that they might already disappointed by government but they wouldnt know they have lost an opportunity to raise the awarness of governement in order to pay more attention to people's needs and our disagreement to certain policy that had exploited our rights. Inflation, release the prisoners on parole , rising of crime rates, unpractical construction projects, incompetency of Malaysia police workforce, judicial scandal and so forth were the obvious instances that sufficient to negate the current position of government by the up coming election.
Anyway, the above discussion is not the main concern of my problem. I hope that i'm able to make a prudent decision that can acheive win-win situation.
Frankly, I thought that the thing will be easier to solve if one can understand each other. However, from his sober note , i think he will not tolerate with me to this matter. No doubt, guys always need his face more than everything and i believed that majority of my comrade will have the similar standpoint of mine toward guy's characteristic. Finally, we end up our conversation by leaving this matter unsolved yesterday. Therefore, i still need to choose between this 2 events.
I did think about the consequences of not attending each of the event, and i start to weight and compare the seriousness of the consequences that might occur.
Firstly, let's see the consequence of not attending the wedding ceremony. As what i've promise him recently, bear will definitely lost in confident to me and he may feel ashame to his family. Besides, I may leave a bad impression on his family especially his sister ( the bride ). From thier perspective, I may be a girl who lack of common courtesy and not respectable in his family.
On the other hand, the consequence of not particiapating the election seems not as serious as the former matter. However, it seems to disobey my own desire to do something and speak for my right to government in this coming election. Of cause, the governement wont change much because of my single vote owing to the popular myth that the election was just a method in form to show democracy exist in our country. But who know the truth?At least we did something, right? For my information, i'm the youngest badge in this coming election and i discovered that some of my comrades were not sensible about the important of election. It was quite suddens me. I know that they might already disappointed by government but they wouldnt know they have lost an opportunity to raise the awarness of governement in order to pay more attention to people's needs and our disagreement to certain policy that had exploited our rights. Inflation, release the prisoners on parole , rising of crime rates, unpractical construction projects, incompetency of Malaysia police workforce, judicial scandal and so forth were the obvious instances that sufficient to negate the current position of government by the up coming election.
Anyway, the above discussion is not the main concern of my problem. I hope that i'm able to make a prudent decision that can acheive win-win situation.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
hard to believe but undeniable fact...
Initially.. i shall think that my family was good n normal although lack of a role of dad in home. Gradually.. i found that.. due to the over independent trait that consisted in each of us..it result of a stress n impersonal family that without warm and care to each other. Gradually.. some of them forgot some fundamental thing tht should hv in between us in in order to keep firming our relationship to each other..slowly..i can found many of the thing will only spoke for the sake of own benefits rather than for the others good..my family had lost of trust, respect and sincerity among each others..thats why..i found i'm hardly to get close to others due to the consequence of my living environment.
After all.. i found that only me n first bro will think that my mom was the poorest in this family..first..she lost her husband in her early age. Her lacking of knowledge result in irrespective manner from bro n sis. I know.. she wont gv us good advice when we encounter sth which may temporary unsolved.However, i dun think we as her children shall blame her for anything due to our own prob. Here, i'm emphasize on respect to our parent. Maybe she gv wrong suggestion for us..but we cant blame her for that, coz we really need to stand on her perspective as mom who may at the stage of worry of her children but just lack of the skill to express what is her thinking toward us.Hence, we cant act so rude for her reaction when giving us suggestion that we may think is illogical. If u dun wanna hear..i will suggest u to keep quiet instead of gv so much of reaction that more to insult rather than explaining sth to her.
I dun like to see them too choosy for the food tht mom prepare for them..then if no cook for them then mom hv to bear the responsibility being scolded by them.what the fuck of this?? mom is not the maid tht u hire for ur daily needs, she oso need ur care instead of those bullshit or little $$ that u always do in few times. coz bullshit + $$ will never equalize with ur little respect and appreciation that she looking forward from u all.
Hate them when see them being so impersonal to mom.
Never ever lost ur mind to treasure ur dearly parent no matter how much u can gain in future.
You can be impersonal to others.. but..never ever to ur closest one.
For me,That is what a basic instinct of a natural human being will do...
After all.. i found that only me n first bro will think that my mom was the poorest in this family..first..she lost her husband in her early age. Her lacking of knowledge result in irrespective manner from bro n sis. I know.. she wont gv us good advice when we encounter sth which may temporary unsolved.However, i dun think we as her children shall blame her for anything due to our own prob. Here, i'm emphasize on respect to our parent. Maybe she gv wrong suggestion for us..but we cant blame her for that, coz we really need to stand on her perspective as mom who may at the stage of worry of her children but just lack of the skill to express what is her thinking toward us.Hence, we cant act so rude for her reaction when giving us suggestion that we may think is illogical. If u dun wanna hear..i will suggest u to keep quiet instead of gv so much of reaction that more to insult rather than explaining sth to her.
I dun like to see them too choosy for the food tht mom prepare for them..then if no cook for them then mom hv to bear the responsibility being scolded by them.what the fuck of this?? mom is not the maid tht u hire for ur daily needs, she oso need ur care instead of those bullshit or little $$ that u always do in few times. coz bullshit + $$ will never equalize with ur little respect and appreciation that she looking forward from u all.
Hate them when see them being so impersonal to mom.
Never ever lost ur mind to treasure ur dearly parent no matter how much u can gain in future.
You can be impersonal to others.. but..never ever to ur closest one.
For me,That is what a basic instinct of a natural human being will do...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Too over estimate...
Having final exam recently...No doubt, i'm quite confident to the first paper that i have done..thr4..it constitute my bad habit that always over estimating myself..this is wat i've discovered today..I plan to study for at least 2 chapters for today, but finally only 1 chapter done..not totally done due to not familiar..suddenly feel a kind of lost that maybe i hv over cherish for my target this sem that on the other hand had caused me in a situation of disappoinment.
When i saw bear studying so relax..i will wondering why... but always feeling a kind of happy to see his study style..and.. i found that..his self-esteem was came from his family.. an always happy father, a caring mother, 2 happy n innocent sis and a free-minded brother that can see everything as nth...for me.. they were the ppl who really live for happy... for themself...
After fell sick... i found that my stamina was not as good as b4 in term of study..i will start to day dreaming when i studying that it wouldnt had happened b4.. my central of focusing seems missing.. it causing me to consume much time to understand a single thing...that is really out of my estimation..maybe i couldnt have blame the sick but the attitude of mine...why i cant complete what i say to do? Those incomplete make me like a loser..I hate to be in tht situation..its make ppl sad n in worrisome..I hope that i can improve myself effectively start tml onwards...
2008...Lets cheer for better tml!!!!!!!!!!
When i saw bear studying so relax..i will wondering why... but always feeling a kind of happy to see his study style..and.. i found that..his self-esteem was came from his family.. an always happy father, a caring mother, 2 happy n innocent sis and a free-minded brother that can see everything as nth...for me.. they were the ppl who really live for happy... for themself...
After fell sick... i found that my stamina was not as good as b4 in term of study..i will start to day dreaming when i studying that it wouldnt had happened b4.. my central of focusing seems missing.. it causing me to consume much time to understand a single thing...that is really out of my estimation..maybe i couldnt have blame the sick but the attitude of mine...why i cant complete what i say to do? Those incomplete make me like a loser..I hate to be in tht situation..its make ppl sad n in worrisome..I hope that i can improve myself effectively start tml onwards...
2008...Lets cheer for better tml!!!!!!!!!!
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