Blueberry Tea colour, 1.3 cc, JML...., Proton Saga M-line version is my very first car at my age of 24.Well... I hope I've made a not bad choice to have own vehicle this time .. although quite critical but foreseeable good in future convenient and reduce a burden in my 30 as the premium is for 5 years. So that I hope I can be more concern with my family and immovable assets tht time.
As I said it is going to be very critical option, because I'm gonna owe $$ and bearing burden of maintenance fees and etc... well.. that is what we call it as give and takes..to have sth yet you must sacrifies sth. Undeniably, I felt quite insecure for it, nevertheless, this is how I learn to face and bear the burden which no matter how I have to face it in future. In all, no pay no gain..
Be Brave to face the challenge and keep growing :)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
A Critical and Struggling period
This have been a critical period to me. Everything seems so unsmooth to me and I'm struggling for nothing. I'm wondering whether I've been pre-determined or borned for such grudgling life. Sometimes, I do pity to myself, and find no value in myself. Whatever I do, the road to success will be blocked by those obstacles from nowhere that are unpredicted and unforeseeable.
As usual, salary released every month's end and this is a month that I'm looking forward to see the increment as most of us will probably get it after the short call. However, the fact is always so real and cruel that disappointing me, the figures remain unchanged in the payment slip. At that point of time, I strongly felt my heart is bleeding and my car's dream is breaking. How am I going to afford car with such little figures????
Despite of salary, more importantly, my purpose in chamber with YTHT is to learn and endowed myself with every practical experience and legal knowledge. However, the outcome from this 3 months period is again disappointing me!! Except doing researches on various issues,2 response letters, 1 opinion letter, and a submission.I've learnt nothing. On the face of it, I'm chambering in a litiation firm, yet I never engage with any practical aspect of litigation drafting, such as Pleading, Summon, Writ, motion, order so on and so forth which are essential to train my litigation skills and build up the neccessary liti experience. As what I'd said earlier, I'm in chamber with a liti firm, hence, the opportunities of conveyancing practice is rather less available. After all, I may be a lawyer (if success) with empty experiences, skills and legal brain.
In this very moment to survive (as I never get this low salary before)*[++ Absorbing no skills] , I'm planning to work every Sunday as a part time tuition teacher to support my earning. At this critical moment, only then I'll realized the big mistake I'd made, the wrong choice I've chosed,the big lesson I've leart, more importantly, I hope I've been grown. Never make impulsive decision and appreciate every opportunity to earn more money. Because, I should always bearing in my mind that the firgures is always tangible and money touchable, people's wit of promise which in most times empty is intangible and unbelievable. In all, admit the facts and survive from this critical and relentless environment.
As usual, salary released every month's end and this is a month that I'm looking forward to see the increment as most of us will probably get it after the short call. However, the fact is always so real and cruel that disappointing me, the figures remain unchanged in the payment slip. At that point of time, I strongly felt my heart is bleeding and my car's dream is breaking. How am I going to afford car with such little figures????
Despite of salary, more importantly, my purpose in chamber with YTHT is to learn and endowed myself with every practical experience and legal knowledge. However, the outcome from this 3 months period is again disappointing me!! Except doing researches on various issues,2 response letters, 1 opinion letter, and a submission.I've learnt nothing. On the face of it, I'm chambering in a litiation firm, yet I never engage with any practical aspect of litigation drafting, such as Pleading, Summon, Writ, motion, order so on and so forth which are essential to train my litigation skills and build up the neccessary liti experience. As what I'd said earlier, I'm in chamber with a liti firm, hence, the opportunities of conveyancing practice is rather less available. After all, I may be a lawyer (if success) with empty experiences, skills and legal brain.
In this very moment to survive (as I never get this low salary before)*[++ Absorbing no skills] , I'm planning to work every Sunday as a part time tuition teacher to support my earning. At this critical moment, only then I'll realized the big mistake I'd made, the wrong choice I've chosed,the big lesson I've leart, more importantly, I hope I've been grown. Never make impulsive decision and appreciate every opportunity to earn more money. Because, I should always bearing in my mind that the firgures is always tangible and money touchable, people's wit of promise which in most times empty is intangible and unbelievable. In all, admit the facts and survive from this critical and relentless environment.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Self-doubting~~
I've thought a lot of myself recently, all about choices I've made and the direction I'm moving towards everyday. Many questions such as "Am I..." and "what if.." always popping up my mind. I foresee those hurdles I might come across in future; I scare to think further. Planning to buy a car lately, self-doubting again. Of cause I do doubt my ability, my trust on the family. Should I trust them who promise to suuport me? Am I pushing myself to a critical stage by owning a car? Will i make a right choice or mistake? I afraid to answer these, trying to escape all this questions, but one thing I'm quite sure is I do need a car urgently.
Worrying to my failure in ethic exam, anxiety emerge in every second for no courage to tell somebody about my failure.Ya..I'm a loser.. New challenge will begin in Oct where another hurdle have to overcome by not only the extra enery and strenght but also highest EQ and self-esteem to face lectures and old-schoolmates and exam based assessment. I'm wondering why I always felt grudgling in achieving something in my life, be it my career or a mere comodity, why I always feeling helpless??
Sometimes, I even sense that Yeo might regret or cry secretly at home for making a wrong choice to enrol me as his pupil. Until now I still cant understand why on earth he hire such a useless person in his firm? Frankly said, from how he treat me and way of teaching me, I did sense that he is quite reluctantly to deal with me.He said that he is busy with this n that, unfortunately I hear him chit chatting with somebody talking a similar nonsense, laugh similar issues with simlar sacartic tune. He willing to laugh for 1/3 noon rather than spending even 1/5 noon for teaching me something. It is undeniably quite disappointing me in certain extent. Or .. maybe he will think that I'm retarded to him? Worst than stupid?
Bear is another time bomb. I'll feel devastated whenever finished talk to him. .. this is now the aftermath after a conversation with him... Is he a corner stone in my life? Should I remove him ? Am I afford the lost? Self-doubting again...gonna heart attack soon.
Worrying to my failure in ethic exam, anxiety emerge in every second for no courage to tell somebody about my failure.Ya..I'm a loser.. New challenge will begin in Oct where another hurdle have to overcome by not only the extra enery and strenght but also highest EQ and self-esteem to face lectures and old-schoolmates and exam based assessment. I'm wondering why I always felt grudgling in achieving something in my life, be it my career or a mere comodity, why I always feeling helpless??
Sometimes, I even sense that Yeo might regret or cry secretly at home for making a wrong choice to enrol me as his pupil. Until now I still cant understand why on earth he hire such a useless person in his firm? Frankly said, from how he treat me and way of teaching me, I did sense that he is quite reluctantly to deal with me.He said that he is busy with this n that, unfortunately I hear him chit chatting with somebody talking a similar nonsense, laugh similar issues with simlar sacartic tune. He willing to laugh for 1/3 noon rather than spending even 1/5 noon for teaching me something. It is undeniably quite disappointing me in certain extent. Or .. maybe he will think that I'm retarded to him? Worst than stupid?
Bear is another time bomb. I'll feel devastated whenever finished talk to him. .. this is now the aftermath after a conversation with him... Is he a corner stone in my life? Should I remove him ? Am I afford the lost? Self-doubting again...gonna heart attack soon.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Unadaptable Birthday BBQ party ^^!!
This is a new though of mine to the so called birthday celebration. I suspect such thought is not only result from my maturity, but the consequences of minggle among the old group in my work place. Just.. I found myself not belong to there. I hope I didnt constitute hard feeling to them, as I'll easily show my feeling on face expression. Then only I have to admit that a profession and the working environment will really change a person's mind that you will relentlessly find yourself some where out there where neither your old friends nor ppls who are not in ur profession can reach. Despite of this, I also need to admit that I'm not outspoken enough to know them, since I know that ppl who know my career will probably avoid to talk to me due to maybe pressure, so that I must learn to take initiative to minggle with them and know more friends in that kind of function.
Saturday, finaly can spend half day (few hours) working besides his room. He still looking not well as I could still heard his frequent cough and snizzling. He was finaly ask me to find him a case at the last few minutes before knock off. If there is others colleagues, they might blame him for non-consideration, however, I felt quite happy whenever he is asking me for help or delegate any task to me. I'd found another feeling to him that is I'll feel extra secure whenever and I could finish my tasks more effient with his present in the office.Why?? I believe such feeling is not so called the "love" but .. he manage to give such feeling that fill my insecurity. Maybe..like a Father? I suppose..
Morning, Sis send me to work and we had breafast nearby the office. Then I'd spend RM 6 for breakfast and I was so naive that she will pay for me like previously. At that point of time, I only realized that I'm no longer a small sister to them, I'm working , and is a future lawyer who indeed rich or atleast able to afford such breakfast. However, it is not in this critical period. Thats why zhong Hong always avoid to come out with us which is the most clever action.Because, once u cm out, it is inevitable that you will prepare to spend extra and sacrify your lunch in the next few days of works, this is what I so called "critical period" of a chambee, We look nice and steady but we earn little.So, in many times, you need to consider a lot when receiving invitation from friends for function or celebration, unless you have a strong financial family who manage to support you or still spoon feed you, otherwise you will have this kind of critical period as me.
Then, meet up with Ging Sin and frns for our weekend gathering, shopping and of coz the birthday celebration at night. Indeed, it is inevitably spending $$ for good lunch, movie, cake and birthday gift. Frankly speaking, I'm not really enjoy to the fullest cause I seems like an alien to them (their friends) than as one of them. I find no connection to start a communication because they were working almost in the same field as purchaser officer, they talk their career and stuffs usually encountered and I know nothing. Ya.. I think it is my problem, why I dont open up my mind and mouth to share sth with them, or at least introduce myself to them, or at least saying nice to meet you as I always did when meet senior lawyers in the Court. yyyy? I'm sucks in this point, shouldnt allowed the same thing happen next time.
Well, it is now 2 o'clock morning, this passage is the aftermath of eating over full that constitute this sleepless night. No matter how, I still need to sleep, to live a life as lawyer, daughter, sister, friend and girl friend of Bear.No matter how still need to accept the fact and own weakness. Yes, the biggest cruel fact is waiting for me next week. Although I'm trying to preprare the worst, but such feeling is killing me taht I really afraid that my confident will turn to infinite like the MUET experience last time.
God, if you heard me, you should also heard my devotion to endeavour for the best performance, if you did heard me, please let me go through this hurdle as there are still a lot for me to go through in future.
Thank you and Good night!
Saturday, finaly can spend half day (few hours) working besides his room. He still looking not well as I could still heard his frequent cough and snizzling. He was finaly ask me to find him a case at the last few minutes before knock off. If there is others colleagues, they might blame him for non-consideration, however, I felt quite happy whenever he is asking me for help or delegate any task to me. I'd found another feeling to him that is I'll feel extra secure whenever and I could finish my tasks more effient with his present in the office.Why?? I believe such feeling is not so called the "love" but .. he manage to give such feeling that fill my insecurity. Maybe..like a Father? I suppose..
Morning, Sis send me to work and we had breafast nearby the office. Then I'd spend RM 6 for breakfast and I was so naive that she will pay for me like previously. At that point of time, I only realized that I'm no longer a small sister to them, I'm working , and is a future lawyer who indeed rich or atleast able to afford such breakfast. However, it is not in this critical period. Thats why zhong Hong always avoid to come out with us which is the most clever action.Because, once u cm out, it is inevitable that you will prepare to spend extra and sacrify your lunch in the next few days of works, this is what I so called "critical period" of a chambee, We look nice and steady but we earn little.So, in many times, you need to consider a lot when receiving invitation from friends for function or celebration, unless you have a strong financial family who manage to support you or still spoon feed you, otherwise you will have this kind of critical period as me.
Then, meet up with Ging Sin and frns for our weekend gathering, shopping and of coz the birthday celebration at night. Indeed, it is inevitably spending $$ for good lunch, movie, cake and birthday gift. Frankly speaking, I'm not really enjoy to the fullest cause I seems like an alien to them (their friends) than as one of them. I find no connection to start a communication because they were working almost in the same field as purchaser officer, they talk their career and stuffs usually encountered and I know nothing. Ya.. I think it is my problem, why I dont open up my mind and mouth to share sth with them, or at least introduce myself to them, or at least saying nice to meet you as I always did when meet senior lawyers in the Court. yyyy? I'm sucks in this point, shouldnt allowed the same thing happen next time.
Well, it is now 2 o'clock morning, this passage is the aftermath of eating over full that constitute this sleepless night. No matter how, I still need to sleep, to live a life as lawyer, daughter, sister, friend and girl friend of Bear.No matter how still need to accept the fact and own weakness. Yes, the biggest cruel fact is waiting for me next week. Although I'm trying to preprare the worst, but such feeling is killing me taht I really afraid that my confident will turn to infinite like the MUET experience last time.
God, if you heard me, you should also heard my devotion to endeavour for the best performance, if you did heard me, please let me go through this hurdle as there are still a lot for me to go through in future.
Thank you and Good night!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
My 1st intimation to litigation
I spending the whole day in Magistrate today. It was interesting as not what i've thought earlier. The woman who present the case was really impressive! She is not a professional but I can consider her skill was better than a professional. She has skill of examine in the trial with proper and effective question post. I suddenly thing that Lawyer was not a difficult profession to be mastered, everyone can be provided one possess a LLB.
Nevertheless, I've learned that mastering BM is so important in the Magistrate. I wasnt impress G's performance frankly. It is undeniable that he has years of practical experience, ironically, his BM or English was very broken that shouldnt reflected by a professional lawyer.I learned that, it is how important that u r pursuasive in the court room to show all ur confident in ur oral submission to judge or during examination procedure. Because, to me, through out the judges' qualification i met,they were easily mislead.Unlike Yeo,he looks more stun and steady when presenting cases in court. He really got his own quality n standard.
He is out of my eyesight nearly 1 week, i doubt myself tht extra feeling emerge to him, I clearly know it is wrong to hv tht kind of unhealthy thought, but .. such thought always cross over my mind out of control. I think I admire him as to his success and attitude to works. Sometimes, he is in certain way charming, not because of his age but it reflected from his insightness of intelligent and straightforwardness. His confident and passion in pursuing his career, responsibility and meticulous, his proudness to himself and the ability to prove it by his manner of profession has become one of the temptation to me. He is particulars yet with reasons. He might be hot-temper but not too much. In all, he got most guys' attitude that I'm looking for, thts why inducing my inner feeling to him. Such feeling indeed instigated my working efficient, but ... it seems not right to continue this feeling as in case , i think most probably he did not sense it, and hurting me a day due to my inefficientcy, I afraid I'll turn admire to hatred or even revenge. Clearly this is not the learning outcome tht I'm looking for from him.
I wish we can always maintain a very good master n pupil relationship :)
Nevertheless, I've learned that mastering BM is so important in the Magistrate. I wasnt impress G's performance frankly. It is undeniable that he has years of practical experience, ironically, his BM or English was very broken that shouldnt reflected by a professional lawyer.I learned that, it is how important that u r pursuasive in the court room to show all ur confident in ur oral submission to judge or during examination procedure. Because, to me, through out the judges' qualification i met,they were easily mislead.Unlike Yeo,he looks more stun and steady when presenting cases in court. He really got his own quality n standard.
He is out of my eyesight nearly 1 week, i doubt myself tht extra feeling emerge to him, I clearly know it is wrong to hv tht kind of unhealthy thought, but .. such thought always cross over my mind out of control. I think I admire him as to his success and attitude to works. Sometimes, he is in certain way charming, not because of his age but it reflected from his insightness of intelligent and straightforwardness. His confident and passion in pursuing his career, responsibility and meticulous, his proudness to himself and the ability to prove it by his manner of profession has become one of the temptation to me. He is particulars yet with reasons. He might be hot-temper but not too much. In all, he got most guys' attitude that I'm looking for, thts why inducing my inner feeling to him. Such feeling indeed instigated my working efficient, but ... it seems not right to continue this feeling as in case , i think most probably he did not sense it, and hurting me a day due to my inefficientcy, I afraid I'll turn admire to hatred or even revenge. Clearly this is not the learning outcome tht I'm looking for from him.
I wish we can always maintain a very good master n pupil relationship :)
Saturday, August 14, 2010
After Shortcall
12/08/2010, I have my shortcall in front of Timbalan Pendaftar Puan Norma early 8.30 morning. So, what will be going on next? I'll most probably become a runner for YTHT senior lawyers, doing mention, application for JID, Order and Bail in the High Court Chamber and lower court. Nevertheless, something turn out more important to me is the transportation problem. Mr Chok who take trouble to move my call was asking me the same after my short call and the transportation's issue has been raised N times from the very first day of my legal life. Apparently, I need a car and it deem quite urgently for me to have one recently.
Undeniably, my career do need me to own a personal vehicle. My choice is the newly introduced Proton Saga with Blueberry Tea feature. I also prepare to go through few months of hard time for the car installments, fortunately, I got my sis and mom who willing to contribute a portion of payment, I think i'm the lucky one who had them to help and support. Therefore, something I have to realize and reckon is that, i really owe some of them a lot which is inevitable in my life. I should also be more discipline and outstanding or atleast professional enough to sustain my future life and get rid of those debts and service soonest as possible. Otherwise, I'll always live a life for others, which mean no life for own and I'll feel shamful and pathetic to myself.
Technically, I'm official a junior lawyer. thus I always reminding myself not to be scatteredbrained and trying to focus on my works or every task is delegated. Being professional during every interaction with people such as the manner you speak and thought of something to the issues at hand and more importantly be independant,meticulous,bold ans sensible enough to your surrounding issues and cases .
Here, start my Legal career, Officilly & Steadily... :)
Undeniably, my career do need me to own a personal vehicle. My choice is the newly introduced Proton Saga with Blueberry Tea feature. I also prepare to go through few months of hard time for the car installments, fortunately, I got my sis and mom who willing to contribute a portion of payment, I think i'm the lucky one who had them to help and support. Therefore, something I have to realize and reckon is that, i really owe some of them a lot which is inevitable in my life. I should also be more discipline and outstanding or atleast professional enough to sustain my future life and get rid of those debts and service soonest as possible. Otherwise, I'll always live a life for others, which mean no life for own and I'll feel shamful and pathetic to myself.
Technically, I'm official a junior lawyer. thus I always reminding myself not to be scatteredbrained and trying to focus on my works or every task is delegated. Being professional during every interaction with people such as the manner you speak and thought of something to the issues at hand and more importantly be independant,meticulous,bold ans sensible enough to your surrounding issues and cases .
Here, start my Legal career, Officilly & Steadily... :)
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