A Critical and Struggling period

This have been a critical period to me. Everything seems so unsmooth to me and I'm struggling for nothing. I'm wondering whether I've been pre-determined or borned for such grudgling life. Sometimes, I do pity to myself, and find no value in myself. Whatever I do, the road to success will be blocked by those obstacles from nowhere that are unpredicted and unforeseeable.

As usual, salary released every month's end and this is a month that I'm looking forward to see the increment as most of us will probably get it after the short call. However, the fact is always so real and cruel that disappointing me, the figures remain unchanged in the payment slip. At that point of time, I strongly felt my heart is bleeding and my car's dream is breaking. How am I going to afford car with such little figures????

Despite of salary, more importantly, my purpose in chamber with YTHT is to learn and endowed myself with every practical experience and legal knowledge. However, the outcome from this 3 months period is again disappointing me!! Except doing researches on various issues,2 response letters, 1 opinion letter, and a submission.I've learnt nothing. On the face of it, I'm chambering in a litiation firm, yet I never engage with any practical aspect of litigation drafting, such as Pleading, Summon, Writ, motion, order so on and so forth which are essential to train my litigation skills and build up the neccessary liti experience. As what I'd said earlier, I'm in chamber with a liti firm, hence, the opportunities of conveyancing practice is rather less available. After all, I may be a lawyer (if success) with empty experiences, skills and legal brain.

In this very moment to survive (as I never get this low salary before)*[++ Absorbing no skills] , I'm planning to work every Sunday as a part time tuition teacher to support my earning. At this critical moment, only then I'll realized the big mistake I'd made, the wrong choice I've chosed,the big lesson I've leart, more importantly, I hope I've been grown. Never make impulsive decision and appreciate every opportunity to earn more money. Because, I should always bearing in my mind that the firgures is always tangible and money touchable, people's wit of promise which in most times empty is intangible and unbelievable. In all, admit the facts and survive from this critical and relentless environment.