Time to leave and say goodbye??

Well... my pupilage will be coming to an end in 3 months time, and it is time for decision and re-evaluate myself. More and more people are asking me the same thing recently; and more and more of my friends are sharing their good news of being retained by the firm. In many times, I'll always be the first one they shared the news with, and each time of sharing is actually attacking and hurting me. It is not purely because of jelousy but a feeling of guiltiness for my own insufficientcy, disasterous and incompetency. Their happiness has triggered my own failure in my career which I felt myself a redundant, under value and not being appreceiated.

George asking me for tea this morning. As expected, during this sensitive period, his purpose of having a cup of tea with me is not purely bluffing or bragging his experience with me. I don't know whether I was being too sensitive, but I can definitely sense or hinted something by his talk and conversation to me.Despite of sharing his legal experience which has been repeated to me, he was trying to know what I want to do or the area I want to practise after chambering. I insinuiting him about my intention to practise conveyancing, but he was keep asking me to choose an area if I would have chance to practise liti. Then I reponded him about my view to the current trend of litigation practice. I shown my interest and also my worry in litigation practise to him. He then start talking about his view and some good experience he gained trying to change my mind to this practise. Actually he was about to persuade me; yet, I fail to pursuade myself to hold on and to have passion in litigation practice.

When we were walking back to the office, he then ended the conversation by saying that: "Since you still have one more month for chambering, just learn whatever you can and you should have know about what you are good and not good in, so think about it" This suggestion did influence my another half day in the office. As usual, I start interprete it negatively. My Goodness! Can anyone analyse his intention by this statement that he said to me? It drove me silly in the office and was distracted me.

After a very useful conversation with my friend, I think i should not be so whimpy anymore. And then, I shall declare my decision to leave YYP and YTHT! Go for the better furture career, my career will still bright without the existance of him!