Valentine's... a very special one!

This is a very special Valentine's day that I'd ever have. Special in term of the same feeling with different of him. I've found myself being emotionally unfaithful to my love one. Someone's position deem promoted in my heart; yet another one sent me flowers to secure his position in my heart. I think I've got myself into a real problem recently, I know I can't fall into this slippery slop that will definitely ruin me, I knew it and I'm trying to control it, but sometimes I do afraid that whether he could read me? Because he is a mature and an experience man knows to deal with people in all walks of life, I was pondering he might be able to sense something on me. Especially I discovered that he will do something trying to test me whether I'm into him...or am I thinking too much?

Why is that my valentine is so special for this year? The reason being I've spend about half of my valentine's day with the one who I was emotionally unfaithful with yet I got a surprise by flowers from my bf!! This is a mix feeling that I don't have last Valentine's day. Because of working, I've no choice but have to spend half of the day with him. It was a trial, the witness's counsel successfully adjourn the case to the afternoon finding all kind of excuses do not want to have his witness present or cross-examined. When we go back to the court, he bet with me that the witness present; of course I bet the witness is not present. He said if I lose the bet, I shall pay him for 10 sen.

Clearly, people will definitely take it as a joke, and even 1 party lose the bet, he or she will not take it so serious that to pay that 10 sen to the one who won the bet. Here, I found I was caught by his trap. This is a test! If you've took his joke so seriously and to do whatever he said, that possibly will mean, you care about what that person had said to you and this might show you're interested in him!! Shit! Last week, I even bought him a cake for his birthday. What am I doing recently? Is that too obvious? I should not do such thing anymore, but my ultimate intention is trying to get along with him better, it might not be what I was thinking.

Ya...about that 10 sen. I have printed the 10 sen with pencel on a small piece of paper and wish him a nice day, then I've put the real 10sen underneath the paper trying to surprise him. GODDDD!!!! Why am I did so much of nonsense to him? I'll left him soon, I can't develope any special feeling to him, no! I wanna leave this company for sure! I don't want him to be my corner stone that makes me suffering later. I should not be like that anymore. Be serious to my future, be serious to my love one and keep a line between him and me!