I felt I'm stuck

It's year end and 2011 is coming after 3 more days. So, what have I done that is worth to mention throughout year 2010? Frankly say, except that I'm still remained healthy, optimistic, successfullt graduated as a LLB holder, then I can't think of other events that could impress my 2010. I don't know whether it is because of I have wrongly engaged a firm for my chambering or what...I felt admist in the end of 2010, I felt that I'm struggling for nothing which is an unfruitful journey to me. Most of time, I will feel anxiety, low self-esteem, worry, and irritating. Listening to people's good news, then I will start to compare with myself that trigerring to a rather serious mixed feeling that leading me to a discourage's slippery slop.

End of the 2010, which is the time for me to make decisions for a better 2011. Stay or leave? Go for clearing my gov's responsibility or remained silent to it? Single life or couple life ahead? JB or Seremban? and many more hesitations keep popping out in my mind that making me puzzling for my future. Why no one is appreciated me? Why my salary remained unincrease? Why I'm not as outstanding as people are expected me to? Why everything I did will seems like so wrong? Why no one is recognised me?

Just about to knock off from office, I begin to obess with something about myself, seriously and trying to re-evaluate the current me in the current position in this society, family, and the relationship with him. Then I only realized I'm actually did not or I can say never ask myself what I really want to be in the rest of my life? What I'm actually want and what I should do to stand out from the crowd? Had I found the real me? If I want to be a litigant, a lawyer, am I doing something that I'm in the right track towards a better lawyer? If I want to earn monies, am I doing something which are practical to materialize it?

I should be out spoken in order to be a good lawyer. I should able to take risk for a better career with lucrative earning. I should manage to control my emotion in order to always moving on the right track. I should remain positive for challenges in front of me! I should stop being childish by conduct or thought. I should move forwards and give myself chances to find a real me, a real me of 25!