this is nearly 1 am but i'm still not willing to turn in but typing my mind here.
whenever i've finished study, i would just hv a habit that to kill some time to do other things before sleep, and consequently i alwiz got no enuf sleep tml.
i was just review bk what i've wrote in the pass 40 over blog, and found that actually i'm more happy in last sem than this sem very very much. i spent quite a lot of time to share with my frns last sem, however, it doesnt happen now. i will instead to lie to escape from gathering, coz i suddenly think that such meeting was merely perfunctory rather than sincerely. it become the event that i will think is time wasting. perhaps, i hv no interpersonal skill at all.
when i was met with myint zant doing the advicee assessment, his expression of my MUET result is again downgrade my english ability.then he try to ask certain word to test my vocab ability, and yes, i've disappointing him . who can save my language? it left only a month to the exam, but i did not prepared anything. is no prepare will better than prepare? somebody told me this, for me, he will definitely the one who bluffing. it doesnt mean that i'm not agree v him totally, but the one who is not prepare but still able to strike a good grade were those english background banana but ME, a Mandarin!!
should i believe in destiny now?? may be... who know???LOST DIRECTION MOOD....
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
充满二氧化碳的心情
第一次用自己的母语写博客感觉格外的舒服与贴切，真怕有一天不记得用这贴切的方块字抒发自己的感觉。
言归正传，最近的我很容易发脾气，不小的事太压力又或者是健康出了问题，我想。。应该两者都是吧。。。
烦。。。。
基本上， 烦课业是免不了的。。感情上也没什么是特别烦的。。只不过。。心里头总是闷闷的。。有点令人窒息。。或许是被自己的一些糊涂行为和坏脾气影响到了吧。。对了。。。写到这里。。我大概了解自己是怎么一回事了。。
我今天做了几件事，让我自己无法忍受，所以就出现了这种后遗症。。
这两天，大家都应该穿得整齐以便应付律师公会审查官的巡视，我们能不能通过律师公会的专业资格，就得靠这次两天的表现了。。而我却不知道为什么，明明知道需要穿合礼仪的服装，却偏偏选了一件自己觉得合穿但别人不人为合礼仪的服装去上课，结果成了众人的焦点。。搞到自己麻烦别人送回家换过衣再到学校去， 累人累己。。
然后，很多事情想要快些完成，却一样都没办到。。觉得自己是超失败的。。以为自己真的是神童。。老师今天告诉我们，我们将有很大的可能性会拿到一半的通过资格，那就是总成绩在3.5 以上的学生才能够有资格通过专业资格的评价，可直接录取为实习律师，以下的学生则必须多花钱与时间，报考专业资格文凭（ 一次八千零吉），而且通常都必须靠上好几次才能顺利通过。。听了老师的分析，突然点起了心中的奋力之火，赶紧回家尊卑埋头苦读，但是，只把火。。好像很快的又灭了。。开始觉得自己很没用，压力又来了。。
晚上，又是一趟补课，上的太迟，雄在外头等得不耐烦，电话声响起，又让我成立众人的笑柄，重点是，这该死的手机突然失灵似的，电话怎么样都关不上来，就拼命得响，让我愚到不行。。压力又来了。。。
这种种事情，让我觉得自己很烂，脾气坏，东西又做不好，有只会埋怨。。很差劲！！
健康有问题。。
觉得自己有健忘症。。什么都记不起。。刚才发生的也记不起。。像白痴一样。。很想做个仔细的身体检查。。又怕受不了打击。。
言归正传，最近的我很容易发脾气，不小的事太压力又或者是健康出了问题，我想。。应该两者都是吧。。。
烦。。。。
基本上， 烦课业是免不了的。。感情上也没什么是特别烦的。。只不过。。心里头总是闷闷的。。有点令人窒息。。或许是被自己的一些糊涂行为和坏脾气影响到了吧。。对了。。。写到这里。。我大概了解自己是怎么一回事了。。
我今天做了几件事，让我自己无法忍受，所以就出现了这种后遗症。。
这两天，大家都应该穿得整齐以便应付律师公会审查官的巡视，我们能不能通过律师公会的专业资格，就得靠这次两天的表现了。。而我却不知道为什么，明明知道需要穿合礼仪的服装，却偏偏选了一件自己觉得合穿但别人不人为合礼仪的服装去上课，结果成了众人的焦点。。搞到自己麻烦别人送回家换过衣再到学校去， 累人累己。。
然后，很多事情想要快些完成，却一样都没办到。。觉得自己是超失败的。。以为自己真的是神童。。老师今天告诉我们，我们将有很大的可能性会拿到一半的通过资格，那就是总成绩在3.5 以上的学生才能够有资格通过专业资格的评价，可直接录取为实习律师，以下的学生则必须多花钱与时间，报考专业资格文凭（ 一次八千零吉），而且通常都必须靠上好几次才能顺利通过。。听了老师的分析，突然点起了心中的奋力之火，赶紧回家尊卑埋头苦读，但是，只把火。。好像很快的又灭了。。开始觉得自己很没用，压力又来了。。
晚上，又是一趟补课，上的太迟，雄在外头等得不耐烦，电话声响起，又让我成立众人的笑柄，重点是，这该死的手机突然失灵似的，电话怎么样都关不上来，就拼命得响，让我愚到不行。。压力又来了。。。
这种种事情，让我觉得自己很烂，脾气坏，东西又做不好，有只会埋怨。。很差劲！！
健康有问题。。
觉得自己有健忘症。。什么都记不起。。刚才发生的也记不起。。像白痴一样。。很想做个仔细的身体检查。。又怕受不了打击。。
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Is the outcome is what we are looking for???
It will be a huge event happen on next Wed and Thurs that the qualifying board is finally step into MMU to visit us. We were praying for this visit long time ago. They are about 15 Professionist including lawyers, judges and some committee of Bar Council Malaysia. Several students also selected to participate the interview session that required by visiters. Fortunately, many of them were those qualified students that fit for that interview, and our future profession destiny will have 50% determined by them, wish GOD BLESS US~~~ A lot of announcements have been made by all lecturers who keep reminding us about the do's and dont's on that 2 days. I only can said that, every of us will try our very best to do what we are suppose to do on that days for the sake of our future. The only thing is depend on the Board memebers point of view upon us in their later discussion and meeting that whether to grant any exemption to us or at least for us to sit for professional paper and chambering in future...
A long weekend is coming soon, the lecture is deeper a day after a day, how many effort needed for the up coming final exam?? I even dont dare to think about that, because I know i will need extra ordinary effort that may possibly affect my sleep and health. What a scary third year ..even so, i need to face it with better time management.
Problem occurs when sis ask me to have a trip v mom at Penang on this coming middle Sept. Should i go?I need to escape 2 important lectures and 4 to 5 days for this trip. Hope to make a wise decision soon...
A long weekend is coming soon, the lecture is deeper a day after a day, how many effort needed for the up coming final exam?? I even dont dare to think about that, because I know i will need extra ordinary effort that may possibly affect my sleep and health. What a scary third year ..even so, i need to face it with better time management.
Problem occurs when sis ask me to have a trip v mom at Penang on this coming middle Sept. Should i go?I need to escape 2 important lectures and 4 to 5 days for this trip. Hope to make a wise decision soon...
Monday, August 25, 2008
It is very curious and i oso wanna know why my blog will suddenly disappear whenever i'm typing in the half way. Do u believe that this is the 3rd time for me to retype this blog tonight? Ya.. i did, coz i'm really frustrated today and i wanna pour alot of thing into this blog.
the line in my house is really sth wrong, it really bring inconvenience in my campus life. wasting time and consuming money. what the hell of those ppls keep downloading rubbish in thier pc n block others line. fuck!
i really frustrated with my current life. i dunno whether is my self become slow-minded or the course is going too fast. i dunno whether i;m too innocent or easy going that always be bullied by others in certain ways.i cant understand why should i amend my part of assignment in fact the answer is correct? and the amendment was required by someone who not wish to be angry by her frn who is the one doing wrong.what is this fucking logic? ppl who doing correctly need to correct his thing for the sake of other and the one who doing the wrong thing can be so eagerly assumed that his work is so perfectly done. at the end, although the one who amend is the wrong person . but what i'm mentioned previously is the implied meaning of those persons who insists to protect his own position as frn of other and dare to come out with such illogical suggestion.
the workload of 3rd year first sememster is really unafforable. it makes my temper worst day after a day for those never ending works and tests.i just felt like behind much from others in campus. i'm quite difficult to absorb the overloaded knowledge and tasks to complete. i'm easy to get migraine too. gradually felt that something wrong with my health..Hope that everything can be more smoothly.
the line in my house is really sth wrong, it really bring inconvenience in my campus life. wasting time and consuming money. what the hell of those ppls keep downloading rubbish in thier pc n block others line. fuck!
i really frustrated with my current life. i dunno whether is my self become slow-minded or the course is going too fast. i dunno whether i;m too innocent or easy going that always be bullied by others in certain ways.i cant understand why should i amend my part of assignment in fact the answer is correct? and the amendment was required by someone who not wish to be angry by her frn who is the one doing wrong.what is this fucking logic? ppl who doing correctly need to correct his thing for the sake of other and the one who doing the wrong thing can be so eagerly assumed that his work is so perfectly done. at the end, although the one who amend is the wrong person . but what i'm mentioned previously is the implied meaning of those persons who insists to protect his own position as frn of other and dare to come out with such illogical suggestion.
the workload of 3rd year first sememster is really unafforable. it makes my temper worst day after a day for those never ending works and tests.i just felt like behind much from others in campus. i'm quite difficult to absorb the overloaded knowledge and tasks to complete. i'm easy to get migraine too. gradually felt that something wrong with my health..Hope that everything can be more smoothly.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Soul-stirring Tutorial classes
I have been through 3 miserable tutorial sessions in this morning. It is the first time for me to felt my inability to answer in class thoroughly. It is not that i did not prepare anything, yet i'm too well prepared but dare not to speak them out.Thus, it is miserable for me in these classes. I just felt so tired in the class, because when i decided to be the volunteer, lecturer start to call students' names to answer the questions, my answer was withold again and again. Infact, i can actually raise up my hand to be the volunteer, and yes..i'm lack of confidence again. Perhaps, i have my concept wrong as a learner in class. I should be the volunteer next time as nothing is to be scared and ashamed of. Anyway, i still cant get what Tay mean in his company law class, neither in the lecture nor tutorial. Am i serious? I think so, peoples might think that i should clarify it as soon as possible. However, i'm gradually lacking of interest to this subject . It is because no matter how hard i studied, i'm still cant understand the basic concept in it. Solve it, pls!! You are not a chubby child anymore..Adult should not let things go worse day after a day, please..solve it asap!!
Recently, my hostel existed uninvited guests that really irritating me. There were 'micky mouse' and baby lizard. The former had eaten my breakfast for tomorrow, and it made a big whole in the centre of a pile up bread while the latter intruded my wardrobe with my conscious. Of course, i've tried to lead it out from my blouse's home, and yet it went further inside, gosh~~ what a stupid lizard that know the way in but out?? But then, i did not saw it in some obvious area of my wardrobe , I think it hide in some where and yet i'm not able to see...God bless me that it wont have a family inside my wardrobe,ok?
Hope that everything will be alright soon..
Recently, my hostel existed uninvited guests that really irritating me. There were 'micky mouse' and baby lizard. The former had eaten my breakfast for tomorrow, and it made a big whole in the centre of a pile up bread while the latter intruded my wardrobe with my conscious. Of course, i've tried to lead it out from my blouse's home, and yet it went further inside, gosh~~ what a stupid lizard that know the way in but out?? But then, i did not saw it in some obvious area of my wardrobe , I think it hide in some where and yet i'm not able to see...God bless me that it wont have a family inside my wardrobe,ok?
Hope that everything will be alright soon..
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Am I too self-center??
This question pop up in my mind when i accompany bear to buy his friend a birthday cake. When i was waiting him in the car, i'm looking at the cake which lay on my hand, then i recall back some memory. I'm still remember my 1st birthday in university was celebrated with 3 cakes by different group of peoples. The first cake was contributed by classmates, the second one by sworn followers and the last one was from my family.I think there was the most happier birthday i'll ever had in my life. I like my birthday to be blessed by as many as my dearest people around me. However, the bear existence had changed much of my birthday style of celebration . I did not mean that he makes my birthday worst all these years but just not my style of celebration.I always have my birthday with only 2 persons ( me and him ) since the day we together. Reason is he is more prefer to celebrate this moment with the loved one and the second reason was we share the same birthday. Thus it had become our own culture to celebrate each other birthday every year in the same day and contributed birthday present to each other, just like exchanging X'mas gift. At first, we felt so romantic and pleasure to have same birthday and to celebrate it together in every year. Gradually, this kind of celebration has been fixed as a form that did not show its meaning of celebration nor surprise that usually can be seen in a slight interesting birthday party.For me, nothing become special in my birthday and nobody will plan to celebrate this with me since the day i celebrate it with bear. Technically speaking, Birthday has become a day for me to over spending, eating and meaningless between 2 of us. It sound desperate, but i did feel it.So..Am i over self-center to rate my own birthday as worse as that?
I thought i can be very peace to face the assignment and study this sem,yet i'm wrong. I was just in the mood of indolence, inconfidence, self-doubt and afraid of something bad might happen to me all the time. I'm not able to explain why am i think so. I just lazy to deal with those unsolved problem. My brain was denied all information that is new to me, and i seems like not willing to learn. How could i become like that? My determination which built at the last sem break has been disappeared.I think i need to brush my mind up asap!!
I thought i can be very peace to face the assignment and study this sem,yet i'm wrong. I was just in the mood of indolence, inconfidence, self-doubt and afraid of something bad might happen to me all the time. I'm not able to explain why am i think so. I just lazy to deal with those unsolved problem. My brain was denied all information that is new to me, and i seems like not willing to learn. How could i become like that? My determination which built at the last sem break has been disappeared.I think i need to brush my mind up asap!!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Campus life as 3rd year law student
Well..the part time memory has become history for about a week ago, and now, i should have take myself back to my full time position, a law student in MMU.
This is the first semester and i was just embark a new journey in my 3rd year. My colleague doesnt change much as those use to be the first still get thier front seat in every class while those use to be 38 were still being the same. Although i was sometime at the front seat and yet it is too pity that i'm not one of them that often to be the "first".However, i cannot deny that i could sense a little bit mature from them. Perhaps all of us have influenced by the up coming legal attachment preparation that had increased our seriousness attitude. This semester's lecturer were quite strict and most of them are high expectators. I start to sense the level of seniorism that to be a senior in certain required standard. After 4 days lecture, i found that we were gradually required to know. to search, to read and to understand more than previously did. Ya..it sound logic as we were categorised as senior today, but, it doesnt seems like benefit me as i'm usually get confuse after i knew more information. I just felt that those topics were mostly trend to history and procedure that i will hardly likely to have interest in it. But, unfortunately, those topics were the method for me to apply in my future training and career and i have no choice but to love them as much as i can do.
After finish a part of my tutorial question, i have myself a movie namely The Sex and City in my hostel room.I like to watch this not because of i love sex but the true feeling from the author about what girls felt toward men in the world of relationship while the actress have vividly decribe this feeling in the movie and its drama series. It was a scene when Carrie has been dumped by her fiance in a romantic wedding party with her gorgeous wedding gown, I was really felt like crying when Mr Big decided not to come and left her alone so pretty in the party. I believed, none of a girl will not be hurt at that moment, it is because, most of us will dream to have a perfect wedding party with a gorgeous wedding gown, and it is the most important day for all girls, i believed. If there is any mistake or disappearance of future husband is equivalent to shatter one dream to have a day of prince and princess together with the blessing from all guests and family. And one thing whcih has been importantly reflected from the movie is guys today are not respect women's dignity. I strongly detest those guys like Mr Big, guys will never know women actually need more space of dignity than them, and the situation of being left alone in the wedding party was absolutely awkward, embarrassing and is a kind of insult to a woman. I think no woman can stand for losing her dignity in that way. Atleast, guys should learn to appear himself and be responsible to make clear of all his decision. From my view as a woman, Carrie may not felt that hurt even Mr Big declare 'not' infront of preist if he not wish to marry her. So guys, never ever escape anything from a woman, since the nature of guys should be responsible, so just learn to face and solve the problem, at least girls feel some respect from you!
This is the first semester and i was just embark a new journey in my 3rd year. My colleague doesnt change much as those use to be the first still get thier front seat in every class while those use to be 38 were still being the same. Although i was sometime at the front seat and yet it is too pity that i'm not one of them that often to be the "first".However, i cannot deny that i could sense a little bit mature from them. Perhaps all of us have influenced by the up coming legal attachment preparation that had increased our seriousness attitude. This semester's lecturer were quite strict and most of them are high expectators. I start to sense the level of seniorism that to be a senior in certain required standard. After 4 days lecture, i found that we were gradually required to know. to search, to read and to understand more than previously did. Ya..it sound logic as we were categorised as senior today, but, it doesnt seems like benefit me as i'm usually get confuse after i knew more information. I just felt that those topics were mostly trend to history and procedure that i will hardly likely to have interest in it. But, unfortunately, those topics were the method for me to apply in my future training and career and i have no choice but to love them as much as i can do.
After finish a part of my tutorial question, i have myself a movie namely The Sex and City in my hostel room.I like to watch this not because of i love sex but the true feeling from the author about what girls felt toward men in the world of relationship while the actress have vividly decribe this feeling in the movie and its drama series. It was a scene when Carrie has been dumped by her fiance in a romantic wedding party with her gorgeous wedding gown, I was really felt like crying when Mr Big decided not to come and left her alone so pretty in the party. I believed, none of a girl will not be hurt at that moment, it is because, most of us will dream to have a perfect wedding party with a gorgeous wedding gown, and it is the most important day for all girls, i believed. If there is any mistake or disappearance of future husband is equivalent to shatter one dream to have a day of prince and princess together with the blessing from all guests and family. And one thing whcih has been importantly reflected from the movie is guys today are not respect women's dignity. I strongly detest those guys like Mr Big, guys will never know women actually need more space of dignity than them, and the situation of being left alone in the wedding party was absolutely awkward, embarrassing and is a kind of insult to a woman. I think no woman can stand for losing her dignity in that way. Atleast, guys should learn to appear himself and be responsible to make clear of all his decision. From my view as a woman, Carrie may not felt that hurt even Mr Big declare 'not' infront of preist if he not wish to marry her. So guys, never ever escape anything from a woman, since the nature of guys should be responsible, so just learn to face and solve the problem, at least girls feel some respect from you!
Friday, June 13, 2008
The last day at L.F. CHONG & CO + unhappiness family
12/06/2008
It was so surprise that he ask me to follow him to stamping office and JB court. Unfortunately , i was wearing high hill that killing my legs all the journey. It was embarrassing that i was walking extra slow due to the unbearable pain in the high hill shoes.I know that he was rushing, but he still try to slow down his step and wait for me sometimes. After visited magistrate court and settle his things, then he lead me to the high court and have a glance of it. Actually not only a glance but he had brought me into the High Court room 1 ( MT 1, Mahkamah Tinggi 1 ) to watch a real trial. I think i was really lack of luck, after 1 and a half hour waiting, the secretary of high court judge finally announced the trial subject into chamber but open court. Thus, i have no choice but to meet my lawyer who was waiting me in another place. In the half way of trip, we enjoyed tea time with others lawyers at mamak stall nearby the court. Through their conversation, i've learned some art of communication. A lawyer from Kia & Nordin had asked me about the legal attachment stuffs.. then only know mdm Flora was actually consistently send some student over his firm for the legal attn programe as Flora think that the MMU law students were really learned something worth from his dad's firm. Then he continue added that :" actually i dont think we have taught anything worth to them and they was just helping trivial matters in the firm." You know what, his tune of this statement has apparently look down upon us who branded MMU LAW STUDENTS. It sound like we were just worthless and redundant in his firm. Ironically, he ask me to introduce him UM law students as he should know i was branded MMU and it is hardly unlikely that i will introduce him any UM student than my own colleague. That is what people said , fact is always cruel. In fact , this is the true fact that people wont believe anything which has not been proved by the society and market. I believed that it is the common norm for people who usually dare not try a new branded product as nobody has tried it before. Yet, base on the quality and talent of the current graduated senior, i'm confident that MMU law student will become the most popular law undergraduate and profitable lawyer in a firm.
13/06/2008
Today is the last day in firm and i was just boring from 8.40 am to 4pm. He didnt teach me much today as his works were overloaded. Through his phone conversation, i understood that something was unsettled and left him quite a lot of problems. At this moment, i just pity his kindness that had let others to take advantages from him. From that case, it was apparent that the big firm was just bully him as was trying to delay his work. It is impossible that such a big firm with 7 partnership need a month to draft out a simple agreement to us, plus the offer letter has been sent them for earlier than what is reasonable to be expected. Due to his kidness, he may not know that sometime, ppl like lawyer is actually doing something againts his competitors.
After i'd helped him with the last job ( calling to Public Bank ), he then ask me to his office and give me an Ang Pao which attached with RM 360. I was wondering whether there is any imply meaning for such a weird numbers of salary. Anyway... even that number turn to RM 0, still, not exploit my gratitute toward him. Actually it was out of my expectation that he will give me such a high pay as i was doing nothing over there and was stupid dunno anything for his question to me, and yet i was so touching for his care and wish to me. Mr Chong, Thank you very much, i swore that i wont forget about you and i have set a new target to meet you as my learned friend in the future court trial !!
Unhappiness Family
After something which is good then it must have something bad followed. I really, i mean disappointed to myself to live in this current JB family. I felt that i and my family members were come from different world. I'm a kind of stupid and blur people that always falling sick and did something wrong to them. One matter followed by another matter that seems like make everyone dislike me... i think i oso dun like myself, my recklessness, omission and negligent that turn some thing to wrong. Their reaction to me was right, but i was just cannot forgive myself as such kind of wrong person..what my fucking brain thinking about recently?? I just like so blur to everything and cant focus things well. Is my sickness and medicine or my footache? Wondering why????????????? Perhaps, my leaving will lighten my family burden towards my stupidity and recklessness. God Bless Me...
It was so surprise that he ask me to follow him to stamping office and JB court. Unfortunately , i was wearing high hill that killing my legs all the journey. It was embarrassing that i was walking extra slow due to the unbearable pain in the high hill shoes.I know that he was rushing, but he still try to slow down his step and wait for me sometimes. After visited magistrate court and settle his things, then he lead me to the high court and have a glance of it. Actually not only a glance but he had brought me into the High Court room 1 ( MT 1, Mahkamah Tinggi 1 ) to watch a real trial. I think i was really lack of luck, after 1 and a half hour waiting, the secretary of high court judge finally announced the trial subject into chamber but open court. Thus, i have no choice but to meet my lawyer who was waiting me in another place. In the half way of trip, we enjoyed tea time with others lawyers at mamak stall nearby the court. Through their conversation, i've learned some art of communication. A lawyer from Kia & Nordin had asked me about the legal attachment stuffs.. then only know mdm Flora was actually consistently send some student over his firm for the legal attn programe as Flora think that the MMU law students were really learned something worth from his dad's firm. Then he continue added that :" actually i dont think we have taught anything worth to them and they was just helping trivial matters in the firm." You know what, his tune of this statement has apparently look down upon us who branded MMU LAW STUDENTS. It sound like we were just worthless and redundant in his firm. Ironically, he ask me to introduce him UM law students as he should know i was branded MMU and it is hardly unlikely that i will introduce him any UM student than my own colleague. That is what people said , fact is always cruel. In fact , this is the true fact that people wont believe anything which has not been proved by the society and market. I believed that it is the common norm for people who usually dare not try a new branded product as nobody has tried it before. Yet, base on the quality and talent of the current graduated senior, i'm confident that MMU law student will become the most popular law undergraduate and profitable lawyer in a firm.
13/06/2008
Today is the last day in firm and i was just boring from 8.40 am to 4pm. He didnt teach me much today as his works were overloaded. Through his phone conversation, i understood that something was unsettled and left him quite a lot of problems. At this moment, i just pity his kindness that had let others to take advantages from him. From that case, it was apparent that the big firm was just bully him as was trying to delay his work. It is impossible that such a big firm with 7 partnership need a month to draft out a simple agreement to us, plus the offer letter has been sent them for earlier than what is reasonable to be expected. Due to his kidness, he may not know that sometime, ppl like lawyer is actually doing something againts his competitors.
After i'd helped him with the last job ( calling to Public Bank ), he then ask me to his office and give me an Ang Pao which attached with RM 360. I was wondering whether there is any imply meaning for such a weird numbers of salary. Anyway... even that number turn to RM 0, still, not exploit my gratitute toward him. Actually it was out of my expectation that he will give me such a high pay as i was doing nothing over there and was stupid dunno anything for his question to me, and yet i was so touching for his care and wish to me. Mr Chong, Thank you very much, i swore that i wont forget about you and i have set a new target to meet you as my learned friend in the future court trial !!
Unhappiness Family
After something which is good then it must have something bad followed. I really, i mean disappointed to myself to live in this current JB family. I felt that i and my family members were come from different world. I'm a kind of stupid and blur people that always falling sick and did something wrong to them. One matter followed by another matter that seems like make everyone dislike me... i think i oso dun like myself, my recklessness, omission and negligent that turn some thing to wrong. Their reaction to me was right, but i was just cannot forgive myself as such kind of wrong person..what my fucking brain thinking about recently?? I just like so blur to everything and cant focus things well. Is my sickness and medicine or my footache? Wondering why????????????? Perhaps, my leaving will lighten my family burden towards my stupidity and recklessness. God Bless Me...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
7th day in L.F CHONG & CO + UNHAPPY DAY
Today just felt like crying... eveything looks bad to me. I was suffering flu and serious cough recently, it resulted in my absent yesterday. In firm, Mr Chong was not around since the early morning and as usual, he had entrusted my few simple tasks to do. After his back and had entertained a customer, he start to teach me things. Basically, there were those which he was actually reapeated quite a numbers of time to me and yet i still not able to remember them due to the complex procedure and 'borang" need to be remembered, i felt that law is all about procedure than to achieve justice.Ironically, we shall admit that this word of 'justice' seldom exist in Malaysia. After he finish the last word in a messy paper in front of me, then same question asked--> UNDERSTAND? At this moment, i will usually look at him for a short while showing my silly smile to signal him my inability to absorb so many thing, then he always sound understand my situation and start to console me that : "Never mind, you will get the CLEAR picture in FUTURE"..Ya..what if my dream is really just a dream and never come true, DO I STILL HAVE THAT PARTICULAR "FUTURE" ?? Wondering about it...
Because of a client seek for his help in drafting a 'radiculous' divorce agreement, he then teach me another crucial matter regarding to the basic legal agreement. The reason for me to assume that agreement as radiculous is because of a particular man who wish to draft that agreement was not for the purpose to divorce immediately but request the lawyer to add some radiculous clause to pretending their relationship until his wife could get a PR in Malaysia then only divorce formally. Mr Chong had denied this client as to protect his own professionalism and ethic. After much explaination from him, then only i know that this client was trying to seek the loophole of law to utilize such a marital status to get the PR for his wife. If we drafted such agreement for him is amount to cheat to the government and may subject to penalty or disciplinary punishment by Bar Council. I, a girl who stupid dunno anything innocently think that we can draft any agreement as what client required, i was shocked by my own carelessness and had overlooked over those traps that had concealed in everywhere of the documents, people motive and cases. Then he give me another situation with a common sense question and i cant answer it!!!! Felt so sad that my common knowledge was zero. I think he must be very 'impress' .
Yesterday, dunno why i was just stupid again to crash my sis car when driving my bro car to get my photostat books. The consequence was serious than what i'm expected. Perhaps i shouldnt be so honest to admit my fault coz it doesnt mitigate my guiltiness but just putting oil into fire. Although i have clearly make apologize and suggested to compensate, yet still end up with quarrel. Although the dispute was not between me and her but mom and her, however, it is damn annoyed me and disappointed to each of them. This matter shows the unforgiveness and untolerance of my family members and i felt that a stranger maybe more understanding than them, at least if i crash a stranger car, he will not keep feeling angry and nagging non stop after compensation. And she was so tricky that ask Sin to drive her car to her frn's hm in the early morning to trouble the people around the world just because of the sake of her car. She was so selfish that did not care for others situation or to care about whether people willing to help her or not but just want people to do this and that for her. Then result in those people not happy with me as this matter was resulted from my work. What a fucking sister she is?? Who can tell me?
Because of a client seek for his help in drafting a 'radiculous' divorce agreement, he then teach me another crucial matter regarding to the basic legal agreement. The reason for me to assume that agreement as radiculous is because of a particular man who wish to draft that agreement was not for the purpose to divorce immediately but request the lawyer to add some radiculous clause to pretending their relationship until his wife could get a PR in Malaysia then only divorce formally. Mr Chong had denied this client as to protect his own professionalism and ethic. After much explaination from him, then only i know that this client was trying to seek the loophole of law to utilize such a marital status to get the PR for his wife. If we drafted such agreement for him is amount to cheat to the government and may subject to penalty or disciplinary punishment by Bar Council. I, a girl who stupid dunno anything innocently think that we can draft any agreement as what client required, i was shocked by my own carelessness and had overlooked over those traps that had concealed in everywhere of the documents, people motive and cases. Then he give me another situation with a common sense question and i cant answer it!!!! Felt so sad that my common knowledge was zero. I think he must be very 'impress' .
Yesterday, dunno why i was just stupid again to crash my sis car when driving my bro car to get my photostat books. The consequence was serious than what i'm expected. Perhaps i shouldnt be so honest to admit my fault coz it doesnt mitigate my guiltiness but just putting oil into fire. Although i have clearly make apologize and suggested to compensate, yet still end up with quarrel. Although the dispute was not between me and her but mom and her, however, it is damn annoyed me and disappointed to each of them. This matter shows the unforgiveness and untolerance of my family members and i felt that a stranger maybe more understanding than them, at least if i crash a stranger car, he will not keep feeling angry and nagging non stop after compensation. And she was so tricky that ask Sin to drive her car to her frn's hm in the early morning to trouble the people around the world just because of the sake of her car. She was so selfish that did not care for others situation or to care about whether people willing to help her or not but just want people to do this and that for her. Then result in those people not happy with me as this matter was resulted from my work. What a fucking sister she is?? Who can tell me?
Monday, June 9, 2008
6th day in L.F. CHONG & CO + GOOD NEWS!! :)
Today is a black monday, it is so right that describe it as Black as my mood today. In the morning to work, my mood is not that bright due to own sickness and the endless flu that was killing my nose; my ears was like half deaft due to my stuffy nose. I was going in and out the wash room to clean up my snivel while Mr Chong was just focusing his work in front of his pc.
In the afternoon, a girl was calling into the firm and she was Agnes,who i believe is my sister's friend and the one who will become my supervisor in the up coming legal attachment. Yet, i was found that actually both of them were quite familiar with each other, from their conversation, i can heard that she was asking him about me then he sounds to fool her by asking her to come over and take a look of me. He even ask her to refer Issac ( another comrade ) if really wanna know about me as Issac has just taken a glance on me in this morning. Well, the topic sound interesting but i couldnt explain why i was hardly to sense any humor in it, yet i would rather felt a little disrespect as he shouldnt talk so much about me within my sense of hearing. Anyway, since he had taught me quite a lot of things and considered as kind enough to me then i think i shouldnt be too particular of his little unmanner.
After back from work, then have a check on my result for last semester. Thank God it is within my expectation that had hit my goal of first class 3.72 which is higher than last 3rd semester in Beta year. I believe that it is the result from my little luck that i gained and much effort that i've put at last semester. However, i should always remember that result not mean everything , good result doesnt mean your practicalability in firm, at least i've sensed that in the current legal practise. Bear in mind, always put ourselves in the position to learn and cater knowledge that not only in the campus but for the sake of future, then only able to survive in this society successfully.
In the afternoon, a girl was calling into the firm and she was Agnes,who i believe is my sister's friend and the one who will become my supervisor in the up coming legal attachment. Yet, i was found that actually both of them were quite familiar with each other, from their conversation, i can heard that she was asking him about me then he sounds to fool her by asking her to come over and take a look of me. He even ask her to refer Issac ( another comrade ) if really wanna know about me as Issac has just taken a glance on me in this morning. Well, the topic sound interesting but i couldnt explain why i was hardly to sense any humor in it, yet i would rather felt a little disrespect as he shouldnt talk so much about me within my sense of hearing. Anyway, since he had taught me quite a lot of things and considered as kind enough to me then i think i shouldnt be too particular of his little unmanner.
After back from work, then have a check on my result for last semester. Thank God it is within my expectation that had hit my goal of first class 3.72 which is higher than last 3rd semester in Beta year. I believe that it is the result from my little luck that i gained and much effort that i've put at last semester. However, i should always remember that result not mean everything , good result doesnt mean your practicalability in firm, at least i've sensed that in the current legal practise. Bear in mind, always put ourselves in the position to learn and cater knowledge that not only in the campus but for the sake of future, then only able to survive in this society successfully.
Friday, June 6, 2008
The 5th day in L.F.CHONG & CO
Today has nothing to do as my boss has fell sick. He ask me for Panaldo but it was too bad that i did not bring any. Actually, I have the intention to help him to buy panaldo if he really need it urgently. However, after thinking too much and fear of misunderstood and assumming him should know where to buy it when he is going out, then i choose to look on as a bystander. Perhaps one may consider me as a heartless people, yet i should say that, in many time, it is better not to do something than otherwise. For me, i dont think it is wrong if i have chosed to do something which only within my scope of work. At least i've offered my help to him for doing something in reducing his workload and yet i've no choice if he had refused me.
In the afternoon, he inform me that he would like to have a nap in his office as a consequence of taking pills. After a while, he was awaked and seems like much recovered. Then he continue to his endless work. That is why he always choose to work even in the Sat and Sun.
Due to nothing for me to help and he was so busy, the only thing for me to do was reading whtaeva that i've brought to work. In the half way of reading, he suddenly came to me and ask me about the book that i was reading. Without much saying , i show him my book, then he had passed me another book namely the guide to litigation practise and suggested me to read that for the sake of future practise. Except feeling of grateful and to thank him, i have no idea to describe much about his kindness and good intention to me.
If i have an opportunity to become a successful lawyer, i hope that i will be able to become one of the partner in his firm. I should Always remember this target and dream!! I believe, dream will come true, and i know it is apparent in my future....
In the afternoon, he inform me that he would like to have a nap in his office as a consequence of taking pills. After a while, he was awaked and seems like much recovered. Then he continue to his endless work. That is why he always choose to work even in the Sat and Sun.
Due to nothing for me to help and he was so busy, the only thing for me to do was reading whtaeva that i've brought to work. In the half way of reading, he suddenly came to me and ask me about the book that i was reading. Without much saying , i show him my book, then he had passed me another book namely the guide to litigation practise and suggested me to read that for the sake of future practise. Except feeling of grateful and to thank him, i have no idea to describe much about his kindness and good intention to me.
If i have an opportunity to become a successful lawyer, i hope that i will be able to become one of the partner in his firm. I should Always remember this target and dream!! I believe, dream will come true, and i know it is apparent in my future....
Thursday, June 5, 2008
4th day in L.F.CHONG & CO
Without much notice, i've heen practised in the firm for about 4 days. I cant deny that i've learned a lot from him and yet start to feel a little bit tired too. Besides, it was within my expectation that he began to entrust me more and more tasks while i'm learning more and more.
Today, he has asked me to explain few sections in the Act, left alone photostating, faxing and calling to someone.wow.. it is damn hard to understand and i start to worry that i would explain nothing to him. After spending much times, and have sufficient courage, i stood up and went to him for the explaination. Fortunately i'm still able to explain roughly about the crux of the sections, he was listening to me while grimacing when looking into the particular sections, then he made a request to read it alone. After a short while, he only went to me and further explain the true meaning of that sections. Then only i knew that he was actually not completely understood such sections. Sometimes, i just felt that my lack of confidence had resulted me to bear too much of unneccessary pressure. Thus, i need to learn to manage my anxiety in most of the times.
Before closing, he had spent about an hour to teach me the rough picture in my future attachment firm. Astonishingly, he knew the legal firm that i'm going to attach in the next semester break, then he start teaching me about something which i will encounter during the attachment. He told me that i will have the tendency to do the banking and litigation matter in that firm. Altought i had strived to threw as much as the questions in order to get the whole picture of it, yet I should admit that i only able to understand not beyond 50% for what he had taught as i'm not yet to study in the previous semesters.
Then he start to share some of his experience from his study until he had become one of the professional in the law field. After much sharing, i should say that, it is not that easy as what we thought in the campus in order to become part of this professional. And yet, i will say it is reasonable for the clients to pay such an expensive price (from majority point of views) in every law suit. It is because the lawyers should deserve such payment for their effort which have been put in order to become a professional today. I believed that not many people can possess such spirit, courage, strenght, and perseverance in achieving the professional of law. There are alot to learn in this field and one who choose study law cannot escape from learning the new laws as our society is subject to change from time to time. Frankly said, i felt a little headache after obtaining all this info and i begin to doubt my ability that whether i'm suitable to be part of this field. Again, lack of confidence, this characteristic shouldnt exists in a potential lawyer but i did, therefore i'm not a potential lawyer. Gosh!!! how could i to be so negative!!
I should tell myself that i'm in the en route to the success, never think of way to return, so, PLEASE...KEEP MYSELF UP!!!!!!!!
Today, he has asked me to explain few sections in the Act, left alone photostating, faxing and calling to someone.wow.. it is damn hard to understand and i start to worry that i would explain nothing to him. After spending much times, and have sufficient courage, i stood up and went to him for the explaination. Fortunately i'm still able to explain roughly about the crux of the sections, he was listening to me while grimacing when looking into the particular sections, then he made a request to read it alone. After a short while, he only went to me and further explain the true meaning of that sections. Then only i knew that he was actually not completely understood such sections. Sometimes, i just felt that my lack of confidence had resulted me to bear too much of unneccessary pressure. Thus, i need to learn to manage my anxiety in most of the times.
Before closing, he had spent about an hour to teach me the rough picture in my future attachment firm. Astonishingly, he knew the legal firm that i'm going to attach in the next semester break, then he start teaching me about something which i will encounter during the attachment. He told me that i will have the tendency to do the banking and litigation matter in that firm. Altought i had strived to threw as much as the questions in order to get the whole picture of it, yet I should admit that i only able to understand not beyond 50% for what he had taught as i'm not yet to study in the previous semesters.
Then he start to share some of his experience from his study until he had become one of the professional in the law field. After much sharing, i should say that, it is not that easy as what we thought in the campus in order to become part of this professional. And yet, i will say it is reasonable for the clients to pay such an expensive price (from majority point of views) in every law suit. It is because the lawyers should deserve such payment for their effort which have been put in order to become a professional today. I believed that not many people can possess such spirit, courage, strenght, and perseverance in achieving the professional of law. There are alot to learn in this field and one who choose study law cannot escape from learning the new laws as our society is subject to change from time to time. Frankly said, i felt a little headache after obtaining all this info and i begin to doubt my ability that whether i'm suitable to be part of this field. Again, lack of confidence, this characteristic shouldnt exists in a potential lawyer but i did, therefore i'm not a potential lawyer. Gosh!!! how could i to be so negative!!
I should tell myself that i'm in the en route to the success, never think of way to return, so, PLEASE...KEEP MYSELF UP!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
2nd day in L.F.CHONG & CO
This is the second day of working and yet it seems like i have been there for about one week. i think it may be the consequences of being too free, i beleieved that if i could have more thing to do then i would have another feeling.
In this morning, he start asking me to prepare and do something for him, such as calling to the bank, photostating ( fortunately i learn it in campus, so i'm able to control it without his guidiance), then teach me about something regarding to the last procedure of discharge of charge. He seems like quite believe in my working competency and going to entrust certain important task for me to settle it. This morning, he threw me a file and want me to give to client to sign and acknowledge some documents to the client. Wow.. asking me to let the client sign is not a big deal, ithink i would have some problem in the part of explaination for the documents that need to be acknowleged to the client, because i'm not yet to be as professional as him. Anyway, to learn something should definitely have to take certain amount of risk that will make things wrong. Hope that i can done everything well.
I was wondering whether he was intended to entrust me more things during this friday as he will go to the overseas. Really hope that he will not do so and left me alone to handle his firm in this friday..because..absolutely..my six sense told me that it must have something happened without him to handle the firm..the mistake must be the huge one if it could happen.. thus i do hope that he wont make such an unwise decision.
In this morning, he start asking me to prepare and do something for him, such as calling to the bank, photostating ( fortunately i learn it in campus, so i'm able to control it without his guidiance), then teach me about something regarding to the last procedure of discharge of charge. He seems like quite believe in my working competency and going to entrust certain important task for me to settle it. This morning, he threw me a file and want me to give to client to sign and acknowledge some documents to the client. Wow.. asking me to let the client sign is not a big deal, ithink i would have some problem in the part of explaination for the documents that need to be acknowleged to the client, because i'm not yet to be as professional as him. Anyway, to learn something should definitely have to take certain amount of risk that will make things wrong. Hope that i can done everything well.
I was wondering whether he was intended to entrust me more things during this friday as he will go to the overseas. Really hope that he will not do so and left me alone to handle his firm in this friday..because..absolutely..my six sense told me that it must have something happened without him to handle the firm..the mistake must be the huge one if it could happen.. thus i do hope that he wont make such an unwise decision.
Monday, June 2, 2008
The 1st day in L.F CHONG & CO
This is the second week of my final sem break. Finally, I was able to practise in a nearest lawyer firm in my place.
I was under the only male lawyer namely Chong Lung Fei, 31 years of age. And i was the only clerk in his firm as the firm was just newly established. Frankly said, i was actually wondering why he want to hire me... During the interview, i was telling him the very truth that i will only able to help him for 2 weeks, and he also told me that he can actually handle those job by his own account. However, he decide to use me. Perhaps for my motive that to learn something from his firm was the reason to hire me. The only lawyer and the only clerk were thus start the first day of work.
Actually i was quite fear about the working environment due to the chemical result from the interaction of natural human being was quite ' dangerous ' for the only male and female to stay in a space for a long time..Then.. for safety purpose, i gave my mom and dear all the informations about him...( although it seems exaggerate, but never judge a book by its cover as many thing may not be expected by a reasonable person )
No longer from the morning, he passed me 2 current files for me to do some research. Then only i found that the files were actually written in BM , fortunately i could still remember the majority of BM language. Due to still not use to understand those legal term in BM, then i have to wrote them down into another paper in english. Then all the matter seems like more easier for me to understand . One of the case was quite interesting, it was dealing with the issue which i just took it in my last sem final exam. It deal with the matter of Tort ( vicarious liability) , but there was a doctrine (roman legal maxim) namely Rep Ipsa loquitor appear in the statement of claim on the part of plaintiff, it looks really familiar and i'm very sure that i've learned that no longer before, yet i forgot its application and meaning. This kind of feeling was toturing my mind for few min and i decide to call my friend and ask for the answer. Haha.. who know the answer was not sure. But the little crue that he gave me has remind me something important. Anyway, i have prepared some points in my little note as some refferrence in future.
After reading 2 files, i was continue reading my news paper as a way to elevating my english. I wouldnt know whether this kind of learning method was really effective, but , except of doing that , i've really run out of ideas to do it better. The whole afternoon then, I was just seeing Mr Chong going in and out while i was going up and down to open and close the door for him. It seems like the very first thing that i can do for him as a legal clerk. Then, i was so happy when he finally ask me to do the second thing as to fax a paper to a client in this long long afternoon. Then.. he went out again..after his back, another surprise from him was another 2 cases for me to read...haha..so happy to see that ..cause i was going to finish my newspaper and i will have nothing to do then. After sometime, i've finished absorbing the files again and finally get his response to ask me whether i understand them. Frankly, the content in those files wasnt arrange in a good order..yet i still can understand some of them roughly as i've learned it before. However, the practical manner in settling a dispute is not the one we learned in lecturer hall. For me, the financial consideration will take much priority than the rights of the parties when going through a legal proceeding.
It was grateful that he willing to spend the last 30 min to teach me something which cannot learn in school ( although some calls were disturbing in the half way of explaination ). All in all, although it was quite boring in the afternoon, yet it is worth to stay as i'm still able to learn something which the money cant paid at the end .. :P
I was under the only male lawyer namely Chong Lung Fei, 31 years of age. And i was the only clerk in his firm as the firm was just newly established. Frankly said, i was actually wondering why he want to hire me... During the interview, i was telling him the very truth that i will only able to help him for 2 weeks, and he also told me that he can actually handle those job by his own account. However, he decide to use me. Perhaps for my motive that to learn something from his firm was the reason to hire me. The only lawyer and the only clerk were thus start the first day of work.
Actually i was quite fear about the working environment due to the chemical result from the interaction of natural human being was quite ' dangerous ' for the only male and female to stay in a space for a long time..Then.. for safety purpose, i gave my mom and dear all the informations about him...( although it seems exaggerate, but never judge a book by its cover as many thing may not be expected by a reasonable person )
No longer from the morning, he passed me 2 current files for me to do some research. Then only i found that the files were actually written in BM , fortunately i could still remember the majority of BM language. Due to still not use to understand those legal term in BM, then i have to wrote them down into another paper in english. Then all the matter seems like more easier for me to understand . One of the case was quite interesting, it was dealing with the issue which i just took it in my last sem final exam. It deal with the matter of Tort ( vicarious liability) , but there was a doctrine (roman legal maxim) namely Rep Ipsa loquitor appear in the statement of claim on the part of plaintiff, it looks really familiar and i'm very sure that i've learned that no longer before, yet i forgot its application and meaning. This kind of feeling was toturing my mind for few min and i decide to call my friend and ask for the answer. Haha.. who know the answer was not sure. But the little crue that he gave me has remind me something important. Anyway, i have prepared some points in my little note as some refferrence in future.
After reading 2 files, i was continue reading my news paper as a way to elevating my english. I wouldnt know whether this kind of learning method was really effective, but , except of doing that , i've really run out of ideas to do it better. The whole afternoon then, I was just seeing Mr Chong going in and out while i was going up and down to open and close the door for him. It seems like the very first thing that i can do for him as a legal clerk. Then, i was so happy when he finally ask me to do the second thing as to fax a paper to a client in this long long afternoon. Then.. he went out again..after his back, another surprise from him was another 2 cases for me to read...haha..so happy to see that ..cause i was going to finish my newspaper and i will have nothing to do then. After sometime, i've finished absorbing the files again and finally get his response to ask me whether i understand them. Frankly, the content in those files wasnt arrange in a good order..yet i still can understand some of them roughly as i've learned it before. However, the practical manner in settling a dispute is not the one we learned in lecturer hall. For me, the financial consideration will take much priority than the rights of the parties when going through a legal proceeding.
It was grateful that he willing to spend the last 30 min to teach me something which cannot learn in school ( although some calls were disturbing in the half way of explaination ). All in all, although it was quite boring in the afternoon, yet it is worth to stay as i'm still able to learn something which the money cant paid at the end .. :P
Friday, April 25, 2008
I was thinking of what is my personal value when i was bury myself in notes. No doubt, i always trying to be outstanding. So far, the personal value for me is of cause not only my appearance but also the internal beauty. For me, the accomplishment about my appearance from others did not merit my personal value. Because, they normally apply a single word of "beautiful" as their accomplishment to u AND OTHERS. In other words, u were just at the same status with others most of the time. To become outstanding and the only way to distinguish u from others is to increase your personal value by upgrade your inner beauty such as intelligent, skills and own personality.. Ya.. I'm now striving for these value. Thus, i'll try my best to be the best...but ..it doesnt seems as easy as what i'm supposing to be.
Keep on stuying did not escalate my inner value at all. I was just being manipulated by those words and papers instead of absorb them to merit myself. Then i was thinking of one person and he is full of the spirit to chase and upgrade his own value by practical action. Through his blog, u will easily found his persevere to do anything that he hope to achieve, and infact he did achieved
them. Frankly, i would said that not many persons enable to be as decisive as him towards every challenges at hand. Thus, he was just a role model that worth to learn with. I hope i could get his personality as my life momentum in tackling any hardship that may occur to me.
When he is learning Japanese, he wrote his blog in Japanese as a daily practise without one's accord to improve himself!! Why dont i keep writing my blog in English to achieve Band 4??
Keep on stuying did not escalate my inner value at all. I was just being manipulated by those words and papers instead of absorb them to merit myself. Then i was thinking of one person and he is full of the spirit to chase and upgrade his own value by practical action. Through his blog, u will easily found his persevere to do anything that he hope to achieve, and infact he did achieved
them. Frankly, i would said that not many persons enable to be as decisive as him towards every challenges at hand. Thus, he was just a role model that worth to learn with. I hope i could get his personality as my life momentum in tackling any hardship that may occur to me.
When he is learning Japanese, he wrote his blog in Japanese as a daily practise without one's accord to improve himself!! Why dont i keep writing my blog in English to achieve Band 4??
Monday, April 7, 2008
hurt question, hurt conversation
XX : Can u explain what the lec talking about just now?
( I'm writing a shor note to interpret the words of lec, then lend to XX to refer)
XX: Huh.. (frowned to me and say) i cant understand..
Wow... her expression was just hurting me and my confidence was triple fall on tht time. This feeling raising some contradiction in my mind.. In fact, i wouldnt be hurt for such matter due to my english was undoubtly worst. I felt hurt means i'm trying to escape or still cannot accept something which is true. Ya... i found that i'm still escape from believing my weakness in Eng..I did nth to improve myself instead of eat, drink, playing, and wasting money. My poor english is about down to the average.. i'm not striving for what i want..I'm just an idiot who consuming day time without any practical planning.In fact.. I know all of my stupidity but just not willing to correct it. what's wrong v me??????? I just felt tht i'm getting sensitive and agressive when facing my weakness instead of challenge it with all my strength, stamina and determination. .
People were worry about the course programme issues while i had double to worry if compare with them. I need to worry to pass the Muet exam for me to graduate first then only worry the CLP exam and its approval. Since i cant pass the fundamental thing as a law student then how can i be so confident that i'll get such an approval to take CLP exam? I'm really look like a looser now.. it is the result from learning too much of inspiration words that had turn myself down otherwise. so.. i must remember tht i'm now at the status of down to the average..then only will work triple hard to get wat i want in study.. find bk ur true personality in study..dun escape..ok?
( I'm writing a shor note to interpret the words of lec, then lend to XX to refer)
XX: Huh.. (frowned to me and say) i cant understand..
Wow... her expression was just hurting me and my confidence was triple fall on tht time. This feeling raising some contradiction in my mind.. In fact, i wouldnt be hurt for such matter due to my english was undoubtly worst. I felt hurt means i'm trying to escape or still cannot accept something which is true. Ya... i found that i'm still escape from believing my weakness in Eng..I did nth to improve myself instead of eat, drink, playing, and wasting money. My poor english is about down to the average.. i'm not striving for what i want..I'm just an idiot who consuming day time without any practical planning.In fact.. I know all of my stupidity but just not willing to correct it. what's wrong v me??????? I just felt tht i'm getting sensitive and agressive when facing my weakness instead of challenge it with all my strength, stamina and determination. .
People were worry about the course programme issues while i had double to worry if compare with them. I need to worry to pass the Muet exam for me to graduate first then only worry the CLP exam and its approval. Since i cant pass the fundamental thing as a law student then how can i be so confident that i'll get such an approval to take CLP exam? I'm really look like a looser now.. it is the result from learning too much of inspiration words that had turn myself down otherwise. so.. i must remember tht i'm now at the status of down to the average..then only will work triple hard to get wat i want in study.. find bk ur true personality in study..dun escape..ok?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
buszzz day~
Next tuesday will hv my last paper for the mid-term examination. However, there must have an unexpected event for me to join whenever i intend to begin my study plan. Well...the oteher point of view was, since i'm so depress during those days, it should not be too much for me to hv some fun v my frns and extend my social ability as well.
After the complecated Islamic lecture, i, lien and small kelly went to Pahlawan Mall to find an evening dress for Lien and evening shoes for me as the preparation for the up coming Law night. We were so well prepare for tht event instead of for the exam which will held before a day of Law night. I also bought some other things that had cost me a lot.. frankly.. :( Sigh~~~~~~Why am i so extravagant??? It is somehow make me guilty for that..but ..anyway..I promise myself to work double and triple hard for the future assignmnets, presentation and study.
All and all, feel happy that to have a pleasant shopping with them..and we were really shop like a crazy woman. :P
After the complecated Islamic lecture, i, lien and small kelly went to Pahlawan Mall to find an evening dress for Lien and evening shoes for me as the preparation for the up coming Law night. We were so well prepare for tht event instead of for the exam which will held before a day of Law night. I also bought some other things that had cost me a lot.. frankly.. :( Sigh~~~~~~Why am i so extravagant??? It is somehow make me guilty for that..but ..anyway..I promise myself to work double and triple hard for the future assignmnets, presentation and study.
All and all, feel happy that to have a pleasant shopping with them..and we were really shop like a crazy woman. :P
Friday, March 14, 2008
Short break...
The mid-term break has been started. I and Bear are planning to embark our journey to KL tml and visit the Sunway Lagoon v san's couple and sin. This is the first time that 3 of us going to have and enjoy ( hope so) a trip together. It is a precious time for us and i will definitely appreciate every second that we will spend together.
It has been quite a long time that did not post sth is new here. Actually, there were a numbers of thing that had happened. One of the most serious thing was Malaysia has just began its revolution during the election wc held at last week. I'm so fortunate that to be a part of this history because one of the vote was from me. XX lost hideously where it seems like most of the nations were felt to celebrate rather than to be sympaty. This election was the most colorful one for me, i think our nations were the first time to show great unity greatly on that moment. All of us have sending the same signals to the gov, hope that it creat an opportunity for them to be self-criticism and strive for the improvement which the nations really hope to acheive.All in all, this is the result from some citizens who really sick of sth to 'whom' did not willing to listen and gv solution. Anyway, no one is perfect, and to be so perfect for 50 years, normally those who think he is perfect is usually stubborn and pretend every mistake was the correct one. Such a characteristic only able to cheat oneself but others who were very clear in every mistake tht had been done by whom without correction.
Actually this principle was also apply to me. I always remind myself to strive hard for anyhing that wish to acheived. Because i belived that there is no free lunch offered in the world. If you were weak, then the only thing to do was to accept it and try to be stronger. Because...sth is just cannot pretend as what you wish, there are many people who are not as innocent as you too. Thus, be smart and strive hard is the most essential priciple for every person who wish to stand a footing in their future acheivement.
It has been quite a long time that did not post sth is new here. Actually, there were a numbers of thing that had happened. One of the most serious thing was Malaysia has just began its revolution during the election wc held at last week. I'm so fortunate that to be a part of this history because one of the vote was from me. XX lost hideously where it seems like most of the nations were felt to celebrate rather than to be sympaty. This election was the most colorful one for me, i think our nations were the first time to show great unity greatly on that moment. All of us have sending the same signals to the gov, hope that it creat an opportunity for them to be self-criticism and strive for the improvement which the nations really hope to acheive.All in all, this is the result from some citizens who really sick of sth to 'whom' did not willing to listen and gv solution. Anyway, no one is perfect, and to be so perfect for 50 years, normally those who think he is perfect is usually stubborn and pretend every mistake was the correct one. Such a characteristic only able to cheat oneself but others who were very clear in every mistake tht had been done by whom without correction.
Actually this principle was also apply to me. I always remind myself to strive hard for anyhing that wish to acheived. Because i belived that there is no free lunch offered in the world. If you were weak, then the only thing to do was to accept it and try to be stronger. Because...sth is just cannot pretend as what you wish, there are many people who are not as innocent as you too. Thus, be smart and strive hard is the most essential priciple for every person who wish to stand a footing in their future acheivement.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine v sombre mood..
Today is a day where many couple are waiting to clebrate in a most romantical environment. However,i'm one from them who did not do that but sitting infront of my pc n typing this sombre blog.
Actually, i was quite afraid of typing sth in my blog recently. It is not because of i'm worry about others to know my things but to write the essay. Since i knew my essay was actually in the same standard with bear..my confident was shattered and dont dare to write any essay.i'm not trying to turn bear up to consider his and my eassay at the same standard as an awful matter. However, i was being saddened by my poor language tht was not achieve a law student's standard as i'm one of them!!I cant accept tht my language was belong to the standard of engineering student who seldom use english but numbers. I was..really appalled and devastated for my disability.
I hope that i can become strong to face the next challenge...but.. I cant find bk my confident ..i lost to believe my competency in handling everything.. i was hesitate for any thing i going to do or done. i just felt i'm a dull in every class. I've no mood to study or strive for any merit in my study. I just felt that i'm doing wrong in most of the time. nothing good will come to me..my dear is also felt irritated of my unconfident and no matter how hard he is trying to advise me but i just cant listen to him.
I think i was in the down stream in my life. Just trying to stand up quickly to strive for MUET.. herad ppl say that if get 3 again then cant graduate ..then what i've done was for nth. I didnt do any bad thing.. pls let me pass ok??my dear GOD.
Last but not least .. hope that everything can going smooth tml onward.
Actually, i was quite afraid of typing sth in my blog recently. It is not because of i'm worry about others to know my things but to write the essay. Since i knew my essay was actually in the same standard with bear..my confident was shattered and dont dare to write any essay.i'm not trying to turn bear up to consider his and my eassay at the same standard as an awful matter. However, i was being saddened by my poor language tht was not achieve a law student's standard as i'm one of them!!I cant accept tht my language was belong to the standard of engineering student who seldom use english but numbers. I was..really appalled and devastated for my disability.
I hope that i can become strong to face the next challenge...but.. I cant find bk my confident ..i lost to believe my competency in handling everything.. i was hesitate for any thing i going to do or done. i just felt i'm a dull in every class. I've no mood to study or strive for any merit in my study. I just felt that i'm doing wrong in most of the time. nothing good will come to me..my dear is also felt irritated of my unconfident and no matter how hard he is trying to advise me but i just cant listen to him.
I think i was in the down stream in my life. Just trying to stand up quickly to strive for MUET.. herad ppl say that if get 3 again then cant graduate ..then what i've done was for nth. I didnt do any bad thing.. pls let me pass ok??my dear GOD.
Last but not least .. hope that everything can going smooth tml onward.
Monday, February 11, 2008
The first day of new sem
Due to the absent of 1st week class, only i knew tht i've left behind so much than others today. I'm still get my first chapter note on desk while others edi reading on 2nd chapter. Furthermore, even though i edi inform others to leave a place for me in the assignment group but at the end sill being left out....attentance also not been signed although it was being informed to be signed..too..well i think .. maybe i'm not really welcome by others..Wow..a little bit regeret tht didnt attent the class for the first week but did nothing at home.Sigh....
I felt so lazy to do study or formal events this sem..no mood at all..maybe i've comsume all my confident that nth left for my future.just felt tht everything i did was bad..ppl dun like..even i myself oso dun like what i've done for sth..what's wrong with me?maybe only GOD can tell..
I felt so lazy to do study or formal events this sem..no mood at all..maybe i've comsume all my confident that nth left for my future.just felt tht everything i did was bad..ppl dun like..even i myself oso dun like what i've done for sth..what's wrong with me?maybe only GOD can tell..
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Season greeting + gathering..
Finally my 2nd sis reached during this early morning. The bad news was she had lost one of her luggage in the airport. Fortunately, there were not any valuable things inside but the present for some of us. Anyway, nothing can compare to the chance for us to meet sis during this new year. We were so worry tht we cant meet her due to the winter chill happened at china. Luckily sis's flight did not cancelled and was successfully depart from shanghai airport.
It was a long time didnt meet sis, but her shopping competency was still maintain as super as b4. She had bought a new hp on the spot after breakfast. Anyway..i'm not so encourage of this extravagant life style.
Haiz..long time didnt meet bear liao..miss him until insensible edi..thr was so much of things wanna share with him..hope to meet him soon.
It was a long time didnt meet sis, but her shopping competency was still maintain as super as b4. She had bought a new hp on the spot after breakfast. Anyway..i'm not so encourage of this extravagant life style.
Haiz..long time didnt meet bear liao..miss him until insensible edi..thr was so much of things wanna share with him..hope to meet him soon.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
wat family affection mean?
The little Joannne was just like a small adult that know everything in adult world. What i've referred were those proper things but others which poisoned one's mind.
It was pity that she cant live in a normal environment as others children. Again, the violent events have been played during yesterday night that poisoned the mind of little one. I'm amazed that she could explain how her dad did to her mom in such a sober note n she was just 3 years old. She told me that she want a new daddy and i could sense that she had formed a bad impression to her dad in her small world. I'm really pity her n wanna gv her more love than her own family will gv her. From the newspaper today, I found that our society has produced a lot of unrational parent that harm the innocent children? I couldnt understand the reason for sacrifice those children for thier own unrational emotion?
Besides, i've oso lose my understanding of family affection from the incident that i've been thru today. Sometimes, i really cant understand my mom that she seems like really dont know what should say according to the certain situation tht had broken her daughter heart. I mean ..for me tht should be a basic human instinct that one person will try to console one who is sad or encounter any unsolved problem. But in my family, this basic instinct doesnt exist. For many time of different incidents. My mom will rather say something that escalating one depression instead of helping one to think optimistically. I'm not dare to tell this prob to my closest one coz dunno how to solve the questions that he might threw to me later.And i know his question will show me up and i'm not intend to show my family up too. Paradoxically, when my bro said to my sis that mom always treat everyone like tht without giving any effective advice, but he was the one who agree what mom had said n ask my mom dun bother her so much!? What the hell he was talking?
Last but not least, i just hope that I could hv a normal family members who know to care each other when one encounter any hardship outside the family. No matter how, FAMILY was the only station tht one shall depend on , especially in the most difficult situation. We should at least preserve those care tht we can gv to our frns for each of our family member, so that one will never be alone when sth had happened to him or her.
It was pity that she cant live in a normal environment as others children. Again, the violent events have been played during yesterday night that poisoned the mind of little one. I'm amazed that she could explain how her dad did to her mom in such a sober note n she was just 3 years old. She told me that she want a new daddy and i could sense that she had formed a bad impression to her dad in her small world. I'm really pity her n wanna gv her more love than her own family will gv her. From the newspaper today, I found that our society has produced a lot of unrational parent that harm the innocent children? I couldnt understand the reason for sacrifice those children for thier own unrational emotion?
Besides, i've oso lose my understanding of family affection from the incident that i've been thru today. Sometimes, i really cant understand my mom that she seems like really dont know what should say according to the certain situation tht had broken her daughter heart. I mean ..for me tht should be a basic human instinct that one person will try to console one who is sad or encounter any unsolved problem. But in my family, this basic instinct doesnt exist. For many time of different incidents. My mom will rather say something that escalating one depression instead of helping one to think optimistically. I'm not dare to tell this prob to my closest one coz dunno how to solve the questions that he might threw to me later.And i know his question will show me up and i'm not intend to show my family up too. Paradoxically, when my bro said to my sis that mom always treat everyone like tht without giving any effective advice, but he was the one who agree what mom had said n ask my mom dun bother her so much!? What the hell he was talking?
Last but not least, i just hope that I could hv a normal family members who know to care each other when one encounter any hardship outside the family. No matter how, FAMILY was the only station tht one shall depend on , especially in the most difficult situation. We should at least preserve those care tht we can gv to our frns for each of our family member, so that one will never be alone when sth had happened to him or her.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Views of current situation..
There was an argument between me n bear yesterday. The main concern of the argument was the possibility of crash for his sis's wedding and the election day. For me, it is the responsibility for all malaysian to participate in this up coming election that will be a chance to give pressure to the current governing body. I was looking forward to make use of my vote to show my disagreement to the current government. However, thing may not as good as what i've expected. I found that God always try to challenge me recently. Perhaps, God knew that I'm poor in decision making, so that He wants me to determine something which is important for me. He wants me to choose whether to attend bear's sis wedding party for my responsibility as bear's partner, or to participate the election for my responsibility as a citizen of Malaysia. Both things consist of equal weight that more or less will influnce my future. I found that i'm in the dilemma to make an ideal choice.
Frankly, I thought that the thing will be easier to solve if one can understand each other. However, from his sober note , i think he will not tolerate with me to this matter. No doubt, guys always need his face more than everything and i believed that majority of my comrade will have the similar standpoint of mine toward guy's characteristic. Finally, we end up our conversation by leaving this matter unsolved yesterday. Therefore, i still need to choose between this 2 events.
I did think about the consequences of not attending each of the event, and i start to weight and compare the seriousness of the consequences that might occur.
Firstly, let's see the consequence of not attending the wedding ceremony. As what i've promise him recently, bear will definitely lost in confident to me and he may feel ashame to his family. Besides, I may leave a bad impression on his family especially his sister ( the bride ). From thier perspective, I may be a girl who lack of common courtesy and not respectable in his family.
On the other hand, the consequence of not particiapating the election seems not as serious as the former matter. However, it seems to disobey my own desire to do something and speak for my right to government in this coming election. Of cause, the governement wont change much because of my single vote owing to the popular myth that the election was just a method in form to show democracy exist in our country. But who know the truth?At least we did something, right? For my information, i'm the youngest badge in this coming election and i discovered that some of my comrades were not sensible about the important of election. It was quite suddens me. I know that they might already disappointed by government but they wouldnt know they have lost an opportunity to raise the awarness of governement in order to pay more attention to people's needs and our disagreement to certain policy that had exploited our rights. Inflation, release the prisoners on parole , rising of crime rates, unpractical construction projects, incompetency of Malaysia police workforce, judicial scandal and so forth were the obvious instances that sufficient to negate the current position of government by the up coming election.
Anyway, the above discussion is not the main concern of my problem. I hope that i'm able to make a prudent decision that can acheive win-win situation.
Frankly, I thought that the thing will be easier to solve if one can understand each other. However, from his sober note , i think he will not tolerate with me to this matter. No doubt, guys always need his face more than everything and i believed that majority of my comrade will have the similar standpoint of mine toward guy's characteristic. Finally, we end up our conversation by leaving this matter unsolved yesterday. Therefore, i still need to choose between this 2 events.
I did think about the consequences of not attending each of the event, and i start to weight and compare the seriousness of the consequences that might occur.
Firstly, let's see the consequence of not attending the wedding ceremony. As what i've promise him recently, bear will definitely lost in confident to me and he may feel ashame to his family. Besides, I may leave a bad impression on his family especially his sister ( the bride ). From thier perspective, I may be a girl who lack of common courtesy and not respectable in his family.
On the other hand, the consequence of not particiapating the election seems not as serious as the former matter. However, it seems to disobey my own desire to do something and speak for my right to government in this coming election. Of cause, the governement wont change much because of my single vote owing to the popular myth that the election was just a method in form to show democracy exist in our country. But who know the truth?At least we did something, right? For my information, i'm the youngest badge in this coming election and i discovered that some of my comrades were not sensible about the important of election. It was quite suddens me. I know that they might already disappointed by government but they wouldnt know they have lost an opportunity to raise the awarness of governement in order to pay more attention to people's needs and our disagreement to certain policy that had exploited our rights. Inflation, release the prisoners on parole , rising of crime rates, unpractical construction projects, incompetency of Malaysia police workforce, judicial scandal and so forth were the obvious instances that sufficient to negate the current position of government by the up coming election.
Anyway, the above discussion is not the main concern of my problem. I hope that i'm able to make a prudent decision that can acheive win-win situation.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
hard to believe but undeniable fact...
Initially.. i shall think that my family was good n normal although lack of a role of dad in home. Gradually.. i found that.. due to the over independent trait that consisted in each of us..it result of a stress n impersonal family that without warm and care to each other. Gradually.. some of them forgot some fundamental thing tht should hv in between us in in order to keep firming our relationship to each other..slowly..i can found many of the thing will only spoke for the sake of own benefits rather than for the others good..my family had lost of trust, respect and sincerity among each others..thats why..i found i'm hardly to get close to others due to the consequence of my living environment.
After all.. i found that only me n first bro will think that my mom was the poorest in this family..first..she lost her husband in her early age. Her lacking of knowledge result in irrespective manner from bro n sis. I know.. she wont gv us good advice when we encounter sth which may temporary unsolved.However, i dun think we as her children shall blame her for anything due to our own prob. Here, i'm emphasize on respect to our parent. Maybe she gv wrong suggestion for us..but we cant blame her for that, coz we really need to stand on her perspective as mom who may at the stage of worry of her children but just lack of the skill to express what is her thinking toward us.Hence, we cant act so rude for her reaction when giving us suggestion that we may think is illogical. If u dun wanna hear..i will suggest u to keep quiet instead of gv so much of reaction that more to insult rather than explaining sth to her.
I dun like to see them too choosy for the food tht mom prepare for them..then if no cook for them then mom hv to bear the responsibility being scolded by them.what the fuck of this?? mom is not the maid tht u hire for ur daily needs, she oso need ur care instead of those bullshit or little $$ that u always do in few times. coz bullshit + $$ will never equalize with ur little respect and appreciation that she looking forward from u all.
Hate them when see them being so impersonal to mom.
Never ever lost ur mind to treasure ur dearly parent no matter how much u can gain in future.
You can be impersonal to others.. but..never ever to ur closest one.
For me,That is what a basic instinct of a natural human being will do...
After all.. i found that only me n first bro will think that my mom was the poorest in this family..first..she lost her husband in her early age. Her lacking of knowledge result in irrespective manner from bro n sis. I know.. she wont gv us good advice when we encounter sth which may temporary unsolved.However, i dun think we as her children shall blame her for anything due to our own prob. Here, i'm emphasize on respect to our parent. Maybe she gv wrong suggestion for us..but we cant blame her for that, coz we really need to stand on her perspective as mom who may at the stage of worry of her children but just lack of the skill to express what is her thinking toward us.Hence, we cant act so rude for her reaction when giving us suggestion that we may think is illogical. If u dun wanna hear..i will suggest u to keep quiet instead of gv so much of reaction that more to insult rather than explaining sth to her.
I dun like to see them too choosy for the food tht mom prepare for them..then if no cook for them then mom hv to bear the responsibility being scolded by them.what the fuck of this?? mom is not the maid tht u hire for ur daily needs, she oso need ur care instead of those bullshit or little $$ that u always do in few times. coz bullshit + $$ will never equalize with ur little respect and appreciation that she looking forward from u all.
Hate them when see them being so impersonal to mom.
Never ever lost ur mind to treasure ur dearly parent no matter how much u can gain in future.
You can be impersonal to others.. but..never ever to ur closest one.
For me,That is what a basic instinct of a natural human being will do...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Too over estimate...
Having final exam recently...No doubt, i'm quite confident to the first paper that i have done..thr4..it constitute my bad habit that always over estimating myself..this is wat i've discovered today..I plan to study for at least 2 chapters for today, but finally only 1 chapter done..not totally done due to not familiar..suddenly feel a kind of lost that maybe i hv over cherish for my target this sem that on the other hand had caused me in a situation of disappoinment.
When i saw bear studying so relax..i will wondering why... but always feeling a kind of happy to see his study style..and.. i found that..his self-esteem was came from his family.. an always happy father, a caring mother, 2 happy n innocent sis and a free-minded brother that can see everything as nth...for me.. they were the ppl who really live for happy... for themself...
After fell sick... i found that my stamina was not as good as b4 in term of study..i will start to day dreaming when i studying that it wouldnt had happened b4.. my central of focusing seems missing.. it causing me to consume much time to understand a single thing...that is really out of my estimation..maybe i couldnt have blame the sick but the attitude of mine...why i cant complete what i say to do? Those incomplete make me like a loser..I hate to be in tht situation..its make ppl sad n in worrisome..I hope that i can improve myself effectively start tml onwards...
2008...Lets cheer for better tml!!!!!!!!!!
When i saw bear studying so relax..i will wondering why... but always feeling a kind of happy to see his study style..and.. i found that..his self-esteem was came from his family.. an always happy father, a caring mother, 2 happy n innocent sis and a free-minded brother that can see everything as nth...for me.. they were the ppl who really live for happy... for themself...
After fell sick... i found that my stamina was not as good as b4 in term of study..i will start to day dreaming when i studying that it wouldnt had happened b4.. my central of focusing seems missing.. it causing me to consume much time to understand a single thing...that is really out of my estimation..maybe i couldnt have blame the sick but the attitude of mine...why i cant complete what i say to do? Those incomplete make me like a loser..I hate to be in tht situation..its make ppl sad n in worrisome..I hope that i can improve myself effectively start tml onwards...
2008...Lets cheer for better tml!!!!!!!!!!
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